Review – Hollow Man

In Plato’s Republic, Socrates recounts the fable of Gyges, a morally-bankrupt man who could make himself invisible. What would one do with such a power? Slip into Fort Knox and make off with a fortune? Sneak around the White House and find out what the President really gets up to at night? Go get sushi and not pay? Apparently the answer mad scientist Sebastian Caine (Kevin Bacon, who as usual does a craftsman’s job with the role) has to this intriguing scenario is “rape my neighbor and brutally slaughter a cute dog.” I admit neither of those ambitions had occurred to me, so maybe I should give the screenwriter points for originality. The production features some impressive effects and a small handful of mildly entertaining gags (including Bacon delivering the classic Invisible Man joke we all thought was so funny back in fifth grade, even tossing in the phrase “Wonder Pussy” for good measure). Together that might have been enough to carry the film despite the dreadful script loaded with loathsome characters. Sadly, the excessive, pointless animal violence was enough to catapult the movie to the bottom of my ratings scale, and no other aspect was able to dig it out of the pit. Overall, it was enough to make me wish I was invisible so I wouldn’t have to pay to get into garbage like this. Or at least I could sneak out without anybody noticing (not that there were many people in the theater when I saw it). Wish I’d skipped it