Review – Here Comes Hell

I’ve slammed ever so many low budget horror movies with the observation that the people who made them seemed to have never seen a movie before. So at least this black and white, 4:3 aspect ratio production suggests that the filmmakers are at least aware that movies existed before 1950. Unfortunately the rest of the crap elements are still present, particularly the meandering script and community playhouse acting. The story blows half of its run time – literally – on setup. And from there it goes Evil Dead for a little while before returning to dull, juvenile horror comedy. See if desperate

Review – Fade to Black

This movie comes from the faraway age of the early 80s, when violent stalkers were new and interesting rather than filler for a slow news day with no riots or mass shootings. Dennis Christopher is iconic as Eric Binford, a movie nerd pushed into a psychotic killing spree by the usual blend of bullying and unrequited love. The production is awkward in an early 80s way, and it’s fun to count the plot points that would have played differently in the age of home video and cell phones. Overall this is just creepy enough to be entertaining. Mildly amusing

Review – The Call

Clearly the producers hope that prominent roles for horror movie staples Lin Shaye and Tobin Bell will be enough to carry this dull-witted parade of supernatural revenge clichés. Once again a movie made in the 2020s tries and fails to recapture the look and feel of 1980s genre pictures. See if desperate

Review – Horsehead

I got lured into this one by the preview, which featured a monster with an obvious Fuseli reference. They made good use of it early on, but it swiftly became clear that the overall movie was going to be a long series of dream sequences with little grounding in a plot. This might have made a good short or maybe a music video, but at feature length it was like watching a magic show put on by a magician who knows one or two tricks and keeps doing them over and over for an hour and a half. See if desperate

Review – Black Christmas

It’s hard to believe this was directed by the same guy who made Murder by Decree and A Christmas Story. In Bob Clark’s partial defense, this is one of his earlier efforts, back when he clearly had a lot to learn about filmmaking. If you’re trying to make it through a history of the slasher genre, you’ll have to sit through this early entry in the set. But be prepared for a thoroughly annoying experience. See if desperate

Review – Major Grom: Plague Doctor

I wouldn’t have much patience for such a relentless parade of clichés from a Hollywood production, but there’s something about seeing them in a Russian movie that makes them quaint if not exactly clever. A rogue cop with his own brand of justice goes after a vigilante in a plague doctor mask. They spent enough money making this to keep things entertaining despite the silly story. Mildly amusing

Review – Nightmare Cinema

I appreciated one thing about this anthology set: characters from the individual stories appeared in the bracket. Lately I’ve seen enough anthologies that turned out to be little more than Youtube shorts cobbled together on the cheap. At least this wasn’t that. The chapters were unmemorable, and I could have done without Mickey Rourke in the wrap-around. But I’ve seen worse. Mildly amusing

Review – Luca

Disney once again dives into the realm of merpeople who long to live on land. As with some previous Pixar productions, this movie does a better job of showing off what they can do with digital animation rather than bothering to tell much of a story. Mildly amusing

Review – The Devil Below

I want to like subterranean horror movies. Unfortunately most of them seem to turn out like this. After spending the bulk of their budget on Will Patton and smoke bombs, the folks who put this indie together apparently didn’t have much left for a script. See if desperate

Review – Greenland

Mega disaster movies can go one of two ways. They can dish up tons of impressive, effects-intensive scenes of massive destruction. Or they can leave the fun stuff out and concentrate on a relentless parade of characters getting in and out of tense situations, each more implausible than the last. I’ll let my rating indicate which route this one chose. See if desperate

Review – Superdeep

Superlong and superhardtofollow. I suspect that there may have been some cultural stuff that didn’t translate between Russian and English. Even so, I’m not sure that even in the original language this would have been anything besides a bizarre underground twist on Alien. Which is a shame, really, because the “Well to Hell” hoax about the Kola Superdeep Borehole might have made a better movie. See if desperate