Review – Wonder Woman 1984

I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie on opening day, and I certainly never went to opening day on Christmas. Coronaworld continues to be a strange place. And appropriately enough, this is a strange movie. Someone else already made the joke about not being able to follow the plot after missing Wonder Woman 2 through 1983. It’s an on-target bit of sarcasm, as this doesn’t do much that we haven’t seen in a dozen superhero movies already. Further, other than the presence of retro fashion choices and a shopping mall early in the story, there isn’t much to root this in the title time frame. Mildly amusing

Review – The Christmas Chronicles

Brother and sister face the holidays after the recent loss of their father and without their extra-shift-working mother. Left to their own devices, they end up waylaying Santa Claus, throwing all of Christmas into jeopardy. This would be another run-of-the-mill seasonal movie if not for some unwelcome twists. The disturbed family seems a little too disturbed for comfort, particularly the brother’s membership in a car theft ring, which comes across less as a youthful prank and more of a serious crime. But the real killer is Kurt Russell’s portrayal of Santa as a churlish jerk who acts like he’d rather get drunk and sing karaoke than spread Christmas cheer throughout the world. See if desperate

Review – The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two

Because someone at Netflix watched the first one and said to himself, “What this needed was way more Goldie Hawn.” In her defense, her wooden performance as Mrs. Claus to her real-life partner Kurt Russell’s Santa is far from the worst moment in this galling parade of holiday nonsense. The dysfunctional family from the original is back, this time magically transported from the beach vacation they’ve found ways to hate to the North Pole, where a rebel elf plots to take over Santa’s kingdom and ruin Christmas for everyone. Before the end of the picture we get an odd adaptation of the actual life of St. Nicholas, elves driven insane by a magic potion, Dasher mauled by a Yule Cat, and the whole mess tied up via time travel. Yeesh. See if desperate
 

Review – The Hobbit (1977)

I remember loving this when I first saw it on TV. Of course I was 11 at the time, and standards for quality animation – especially on this side of the Pacific – were generally lower back then. But for the time and place, it’s not bad. The voice cast features some familiar names, including John Huston as Gandalf and Hans Conried as Thorin. In its limited running time, it stays fairly faithful to its well-known source. Mildly amusing

Review – Necessary Evil: The Super-Villains of DC Comics

You get what the title promises. I watched this because I’ve found that I have blank spots in my knowledge of the full DC line of heroes and villains, and these gaps sometimes make me miss questions on Sporcle quizzes. This parade of pictures and talking heads helped expand my knowledge a bit. Mildly amusing

Review – Lovecraft: Fear of the Unknown

This is a reasonably good documentary about H.P. Lovecraft. It covers his life, his work and at least a little of his legacy. Some of the talking heads are better at spouting opinions than presenting facts, and the awkward issue of the author’s racism gets variable treatment. But overall this is a solid starting place for viewers new to the subject and an enjoyable parade of familiar faces for those of us with more extensive backgrounds. Mildly amusing

Review – Ghosts of War

Why is it so goddamn hard to combine the war and horror genres? They seem like they’d go well together. Yet this is the umpteenth attempt I’ve seen that starts out solidly enough but then can’t seal the deal. The plot drops a small group of WW2 GIs into a haunted mansion, and at first it plays as a standard ghost story. Then it starts to meander, becoming implausible even with the extra latitude due a supernatural tale. And as if the filmmakers realize it’s going off the rails, they lean into the skid with a shaggy dog twist. They might have gotten away with it if that had been the punchline that ended the joke. But it kept going from there. Perhaps they were trying to draw some kind of awkward parallel between Nazis and ISIS, but any point they were trying to make got lost in the inept storytelling. See if desperate

Review - Scoob!

It takes guts to make a dumb cartoon aimed at 50-year-old audience members.  In keeping with the current trend for packing pictures full of inside jokes, just about everything here is a reference to some element or another of the original Scooby Doo Where Are You? series. Plus they’ve thrown in a bunch of other H-B characters in a fairly transparent attempt to kick-start yet another cinematic universe. There’s a bit of clever business to be found here and there, but for the most part this is a movie designed for a pre-teen mentality yet designed to make sure anyone that age now won’t get many of the jokes. Mildly amusing

Review - Underwater

This isn’t the first movie I’ve seen ruined by the “constant cliffhanger” approach to storytelling. But unlike many of the others that seemed to exist for no other reason than abusing their characters, this one could have been so much better if it had toned down the constant peril and given some of the other elements a chance. Such a shame, too. Of all the underwater Alien clones I’ve seen, the monsters in this one were by far the best. Production design was great. Even the cast was good. If only it hadn’t been such a relentless chore to watch. Mildly amusing

Review - The Wiz

An oh-so-1970s Motown reimagining of The Wizard of Oz? What’s not to love? The cast is a who’s who of Black singers and actors from the era. The musical numbers are great fun. The production design creates an excellent blend of fantasy landscape and gritty New York City. And best of all, the adaptation retains the spirit of Baum’s book – in some ways even more faithfully than the original movie – while at the same time incorporating a whole new set of cultural references. This picture should have a place on any list of quintessential movies from its decade. Worth seeing