Review – Black Forest

SyFy digs up the creepy roots of well-known fairy tales and turns them into a typically half-baked horror movie. A group of random tourists gets trapped in a strange world where old folk tales are real and homicidal. See if desperate

Review – Odd Thomas

Odd movie, especially from Mummy director Stephen Sommers. The story – based on a comic book series – closely resembles The Frighteners: a guy who can see ghosts battles evil spirits and serial killers. It’s entertaining in a self-consciously quirky way. Mildly amusing

Review – The Unnamable 2

Because after I loved The Unnamable so much, why wouldn’t I watch the sequel? Oddly, they did manage to stir tiny bits of Yog Sothery in every once in awhile. But for the most part this was two softcore porn actors (one in a rubber suit, the other in a Lady Godiva wig) duking it out in an uninteresting battle between good and evil. See if desperate

Review – Frozen

Obviously this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about. This is a perfectly entertaining Disney animation, but I didn't think it was particularly better than the studio's typical product. But apparently I'm in the minority, as this was a runaway box office hit. It's cute. It's fun. But every once in awhile I found myself outside the pure fantasy of it all. For example, I couldn't watch one of the two female protagonists use magic to whip up a spectacular ice castle without wondering how she would get the plumbing to work. Mildly amusing

Review – Devil’s Pass

Typically the found footage approach to horror storytelling doesn't really ruin much. It sucks (hard to look at, places harsh restrictions on plots, overused beyond all excuse), but it doesn't exactly damage a picture that wasn't going to be anything more than a mediocre ghost story under the best of circumstances. This tale, on the other hand, might have been really good if not subjected to some really bad filmmaking. A typical wad of young Americans goes in search of clues about the disappearance of a team of Soviet scientists, uncovering some creepy stuff in the process. See if desperate

Review – Insidious 2

Second verse, same as the first. See if desperate

Review – G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Here's another strangely audience-free picture. It's too juvenile for adult moviegoers (even action movie fans). But it's packed with too much graphic violence and foul language for the traditional pre-teen G.I. Joe market. I should admit that I don't follow the whole Joe thing closely enough to have the necessary level of familiarity with the characters. Oh, and my opinion of Bruce Willis is a matter of substantial public record. Still, I've seen worse brain dead war movies. See if desperate

Review – Scary Movie 3

Netflix placed this prominently in the “new arrivals” section as if it was a big deal. That’s an odd decision, as anyone immature enough to find this amusing probably isn’t old enough to remember the movies it parodies (the two main targets are The Ring and Signs). Though it’s clearly a relic of its time, folks who liked the first two may get a snicker out of this as well. See if desperate

Review – A Fistful of Dollars

Yojimbo gets a Spaghetti Western makeover in this first collaboration between Clint Eastwood and Sergio Leone. Like its Japanese predecessor, the action scenes are excellent but some of the slow spots really drag. Mildly amusing