Review – Superman (2025)

What an aggravating movie. For better or worse, a big part of Superman’s charm is that he consistently wins fights against the bad guys. But here our hero starts out on the losing end and rarely gains the upper hand until the very end. If the character needed to be reimagined this way, at least they should have used a different villain. In real life we’re all taking a constant beating from vile tech billionaires, so it would have been a lot more fun to watch Lex Bezos Musk Luthor take way more frequent lumps. And the animal peril is genuinely excessive, insufficiently offset by the meticulously happy ending. The cast of newcomers and semi-familiar faces do their best with what they’ve got, but overall this is hard to watch. See if desperate

Review – The Marvels

Yeah, this one’s pretty goofy. And though the humor doesn’t always work, it at least deserves an E for effort. Typical of the experience was the sequence in which space alien cats temporarily devour the crew of a space station while “Memories” plays on the soundtrack. And though I long for a day when it won’t be necessary to type this anymore, this production is noteworthy for having three female protagonists none of whom self-actualize or otherwise depend on men to achieve their goals. Mildly amusing

Review – Fantastic Four: First Steps

The source material for Fantastic Four movies could have been written by Stephen King, based on how many terrible movies have been made out of it. This time around the story is a run-of-the-mill retelling of the Galactus plot line with minor twists (a female Silver Surfer, the Thing as a muttering goof rather than a rocky orange rage monster). The real killer here is the art direction. The somewhere-else-in-the-multiverse aesthetic reeks of the Tomorrowland sections of Disney theme parks, somehow equally rooted in a past that never was and a future that never will be. The 1940s, 1960s and 2020s blend awkwardly at best, which doesn’t make the off-putting characters any more approachable. Pity, too. They spent a lot on the cast and the effects. See if desperate

Review – Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Like the first one, this is more about the effects than anything else. So if you liked it before, here’s seconds. Mildly amusing

Review – Batman: The Doom that Came to Gotham

As a longtime fan of “Yog Sothery,” I’ve come to accept the niche nature of the subgenre. So I found it strange when a series of Batman comics deconstructed familiar characters and settings with a Lovecraftian twist. And now it’s stranger still to see Warner make an animation out of it. The story gets off to a reasonably good start but then meanders considerably before concluding. In particular there seemed to be a lot of sudden realization that fan favorite villains hadn’t been worked in yet, resulting in a lot of go-nowhere subplots. Mildly amusing

Review – The Flash

Apparently stung by criticism that the DCEU was too dark, the folks who make these things have churned out another light comedy about a witless young guy with superpowers. As we’ve all come to expect from any franchise entry involving a multiverse, this is a lot of expensive effects and stunt casting without a lot of anything else. See if desperate

Review – Shazam: Fury of the Gods

Other than a passing affection for the Saturday morning live action version from the mid 70s, I never thought much about Shazam as a kid. And other than the first movie in this set, I haven’t thought much about the character since. There’s just something about a child transformed into a superhero that seems aimed at an audience other than a guy in his 50s. Though I wasn’t surprised to find myself outside the target demographic, I was a little puzzled by the decision to spend the money to hire actual actors (Lucy Liu and Helen Mirren) to play the villains. Their performances notwithstanding, this is mostly effects-intensive goofiness. Mildly amusing

Review – Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

This is super depressing, especially for an MCU entry. It both begins and ends with touching tributes to Chadwick Boseman. On the plus side, they’re oddly tasteful for a superhero movie. But they also serve as a potent reminder that the rest of the cast is stuck carrying on without him. Nor is that the only sad moment in the picture, though to avoid spoilers I’ll just leave that there. Letitia Wright and the rest of the cast do a solid job making the story work. And the plot carries on traditions from the first one, including a villain who actually kinda has a point. Mildly amusing

Review – Black Adam

Dwayne Johnson does a great job as the eponymous title antihero. Stir in some expensive effects, and I figured that would be enough to sustain an empty-headed action movie. But then the script stirs in confusing subplots about the complex relationship between global superpowers and their autonomy-hungry fellow nations. As if the crew of not-too-familiar superheroes wasn’t already hard enough to navigate. Mildly amusing

Review – Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Like the recent seasons of Saturday Night Live, this movie depends heavily on stunt casting rather than good writing. The production sports plenty of expensive effects and cameos from other parts of the MCU (and points more distant). But beyond that the plot wanders between alternate realities until it runs out of excuses for meandering. With all the talent in the cast they could have made something much better. See if desperate

Review – Logan

The most bankable member of the X-Men slowly sputters out in this grim little action movie. Wolverine struggles to survive and care for a senile Professor X in a largely post-mutant near-future world. But when a member of the next generation – pursued by sinister government agents – gets dropped at his doorstep, it’s back in the saddle again. The new kid is more than a little reminiscent of Eleven from Stranger Things, which helps make her the only really sympathetic character in the story. Beyond her arc, this is a familiar mix of growling and fighting. Mildly amusing

Review – Eternals

This movie helped me answer a question I’ve been curious about for some time: what would I think of a superhero movie if I had no idea who any of the superheroes were? In all of the MCU and DCEU movies I’ve seen, I was at least familiar in passing – if not a fan from childhood – of all the major players. But in this crew I’d never heard of any of them beyond their identities as the ancient sources of folk legends. Oddly, my lack of familiarity with the characters and plot elements didn’t affect my opinion much. It’s pretty. It’s loud. And ultimately it doesn’t amount to much. Mildly amusing

Review – The Batman

For anyone who (correctly) felt that Batman and Robin was far too cartoonish and silly, this go-around takes the exact opposite approach. Sadly, the moody art house version doesn’t work much better than its goofy predecessor. For starters, the self-conscious quest for edginess takes familiar characters in some odd directions. Colin Farrell plays the least penguin-y Penguin ever. Paul Dano’s Riddler is a cheap Zodiac Killer knock-off, which makes him simultaneously more scary and less interesting. Zoë Kravitz works well as Catwoman, and Jeffrey Wright does a competent job as James Gordon. But if Robert Pattinson ever hopes to distance himself from Edward Cullen, he needs to quit playing pasty, emo characters. The bat suit was clunky, as were the battles that employed it. And don’t get me started on the wreck of a muscle car Batmobile. But the thing that really ruined it for me was the pace. Everything seemed to take twice as long as it needed to. And losing most of the fight scenes in the shadows didn’t exactly help keep things moving smoothly. See if desperate

Review – Thor

I first reviewed this years ago during its first run in theaters, but the review vanished from my computer. So today I did a re-watch. To the extent that I remember what I originally wrote, my opinion remains unchanged. I was unpleasantly surprised at some of the changes made between the comic books and the movie adaptation, particularly the decision to transform the hero into a jock dumbass. The effects are good, particularly the stylish interpretation of Asgard. But for the most part this serves as a set-up for future MCU installments rather than a good story by itself (something I probably didn’t see the first time around). Mildly amusing

Review – The Suicide Squad

The fight sequence choreography and editing are excellent, and Margot Robbie is in it. I expect that’s all most fans of this corner of the DC Extended Universe are here for. But this entry is dark and cruel, even for the DCEU. The cast includes several actors I’ve liked in other movies, but here I just couldn’t get past the story’s profound mean streak, especially the wanton, unnecessary cruelty to animals. See if desperate

Review – Thunder Force

For the most part we’ve got yet another quirky-dumb Melissa McCarthy comedy, this time about a pair of mis-matched best friends who gain superpowers and battle villains who are trying to take over Chicago. But a couple of points stood out. I was genuinely awestruck that they’d ask Octavia Spencer to play a Black woman whose super power was invisibility and then show absolutely no self-awareness about it. And I had to check the trivia notes to find out how they faked the scenes where characters eat raw chicken just so I could sleep at night. See if desperate

Review - Birds of Prey

Moving farther into the largely Marvel free realm of girl power superhero movies, DC offers up “The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn.” To be sure, this isn’t exactly a milestone in the history of feminist cinema. But it’s an entertaining action movie that keeps the story moving and manages some humorous moments along the way. Mildly amusing

Review – Shazam!

Beyond the Saturday morning kids’ TV series from the 70s, I don’t have much experience with this character. The orphan who could transform himself into a grown man with superpowers seemed to create a lot of awkwardness. But perhaps the fans for whom this production is clearly intended are more accustomed to it. A few cute jokes. Some flashy effects. At least it wasn’t as dreary as many of the other DCEU entries. Mildly amusing

Review – Aquaman

When I was a kid, I thought being able to breathe underwater (like really breathe, not just wear scuba gear for awhile) would be the best superpower ever. Even as an adult, I wouldn’t turn down the offer. So I’m a little surprised Aquaman never floated anywhere near the top of my list of superheroes. Maybe if his Saturday morning Superfriends incarnation had as much panache as Jason Momoa brings to the role, it might have been a different story. The hero’s grumpy snark aside, this is a standard superhero movie with plenty of the genre’s standbys: action-packed story, flashy effects, elaborate stunt work and so on. The only moment of real cringe was the casting of Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Manta (because getting a Black guy to play a criminal named Black Manta …). Mildly amusing

Review – The Rocketeer

This should have been better than it was. The graphic novel upon which it was based supplied a perfectly usable story. And Disney should have been better equipped than any other studio to tell a nostalgic story reminiscent of adventure pulp serials from the 1930s. But somehow it just never manages to get off the ground. Mildly amusing