Review – The Living Museum

Though I’m not sure any further proof of the narrowness of the gap between artistic genius and insanity is really necessary, this documentary nonetheless does a compelling job of exploring the issue. The title subject is a collection of work-spaces devoted to institutionalized artists, sort of an art therapy program writ large. The format follows a handful of the artists, devoting a segment to each. And naturally enough, some are more interesting than others. A couple suffer from illnesses that make it hard for them to relate to the outside world in any way besides their art. Some of the others appear – at least in this documentary – to be little “odder” than the average student at any given art institute. Likewise their art varies from the fascinating to the dull and academic. Overall the film is an interesting experience, suffering only slightly from the exploitative impulses that mar many documentaries on the subject of mental illness. Worth seeing

Review – Autumn in New York

Take a romance between a high-40s aging lothario and a ditzy low-20-something. Add the plot twist that she’s dying of Tragic Beautiful Actress Syndrome (the same thing that got Ali McGraw in Love Story). Then dump on a heapin’ helpin’ of some of the worst dialogue I’ve ever heard, et voila! The offense is further aggravated by Wynona Ryder playing a role she could barely have pulled off ten years ago (this woman’s my age for crying out loud, and I assure you I ain’t 20). Then of course there’s the constant presence of Richard Gere. The final icing on the cake is the almost constant reliance on clichés, particularly the male lead’s simpering, empty-headed self-deprecation. Even the most devoted fan of the chick flick may have trouble choking this one down. Wish I’d skipped it

REview – The Blind Swordsman's Vengeance

Our sightless hero Master Zatoichi is once again up to his old tricks, drawn against his will into defending helpless villagers from yakuza gangsters. This is your typical mix of swordplay, philosophical musings and other genre clichés. Nearly the only novel twist this time around is the bad guys’ attempt to flummox the protagonist by attacking him while playing extra-loud thunder drums so he won’t be able to hear them coming for him. Of course it doesn’t work, but it’s the thought that counts. Mildly amusing

Review – The Mothman Prophesies

It’s been many a year since I saw a movie in a theater and almost fell asleep. But were it not for the repeated, annoying use of loud noises and bright, flashing lights to interrupt the tedium, this stinker would have put me out cold. And for a horror movie, that’s an especially bad thing. This Richard Gere vehicle is based loosely on the Mothman incident that took place in West Virginia back in the 1960’s, when residents of the sleepy little town of Point Pleasant began claiming that they’d seen a big, roughly humanoid thing with giant, dark wings flitting about the countryside and terrifying everyone in its path. The background – coupled with some creepy-looking Mothman drawings early in the movie – suggested that the production at least had potential, at least enough to keep me in my seat despite the heavy-duty wife death in the first 20 minutes. Sadly, from there the story swiftly devolves into extended clots of go-nowhere dialogue and other wastes of celluloid punctuated by Moth-appearances typically heralded by audiovisual racket. Further, the bulk of the plot becomes one of those is-our-hero-crazy-or-are-mysterious-beings-really-trying-to-warn-him-about-something deals. After a couple of hours of sheer boredom mixed with occasional sensory abuse, it’s really hard to care one way or the other. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – Double Jeopardy

Ready for yet another run-of-the-mill, Hitchcock wannabe thriller? Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones star in this mediocre pot-boiler about a woman (Judd) who does prison time for killing her husband only to discover that 1. the guy’s still alive and 2. he framed her so he could walk away with their kid and a whole lot of money. So when she’s paroled she goes after the louse and is herself pursued by an ex-lawyer-turned-parole-officer (Jones). Eventually all parties end up in New Orleans, where ... if you want to know what happens, sit through it yourself. I had to. Why shouldn’t you? However, be warned that the surprise twists fall more than a little short of surprising. Even the title – a reference to the flawed theory that the double jeopardy rule would prevent our heroine from being tried for murder a second time after she kills her treacherous hubby – falls flat. See if desperate

Review – What Women Want

Women want silly situation comedies starring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt, huh? Who would have thought. This fluffy little movie about gender relations features Gibson as sort of a sexist jerk version of Scrooge, only rather than visitations from ghosts he ends up with the ability to read women’s minds and find out what they’re really thinking about. Production values are high, and for the most part the comedy works despite the lack of romantic chemistry between the stars. Occasionally the story appears to veer toward taking itself seriously as a sincere commentary on gender relations, and that’s a mistake. Further, the pacing is odd; act one spans the first hour and a half, leaving the remaining plot to play out in the final 30 minutes. But if you can stomach something that seems tailor-made to garner blurbs along the lines of “prepare to have your funny bone tickled and your heart warmed,” you’ve come to the right place. Mildly amusing

Review – Dark Days

Before I sat down and watched this movie, I have to admit I was skeptical about the chances anyone could make a documentary that said anything new about the plight of the homeless. However, this production managed to impress me. Cameras show us the hidden lives of the homeless folk who live the bulk of their lives beneath the streets of New York. It suffers from some of the problems endemic to films of this ilk (slight preachiness, black and white art posing) and a couple of new ones (believe it or not, it has a happy ending). Further, the lighting I suppose was necessary for filming purposes appears to distort some of the scenes. But the power of stories told and the lives depicted is more than enough to make up for the movie’s shortcomings. Worth seeing

Review – Twists of Terror

Twists of Tedium is more like it. Even the Canadian government ought to be able to recognize something so obviously designed to fail that it really shouldn’t be permitted to take advantage of the Great White North’s policy of liberal tax write-offs for film flops. Perhaps in place of the tax credit the guys who made this stinker could look for scientific grant funding under the pretext that this was an evil experiment seeking to determine just how many tiresome clichés could be built into a single made-for-cable fiasco. Sure, all three of the tiny tales of torpor feature the title-promised twists, but all one needs to do in order to stay ten or twelve steps ahead of the writers is to imagine that the plot is going to proceed in the most predictable, least entertaining course available to it. Even the sex probably won’t impress anyone who’s ever actually gotten laid. So even if it’s on for free, just pretend you don’t see it and keep on surfing. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – The Mystery in the Wax Museum

Fans of the Vincent Price classic House of Wax will recognize plot, characters and even some dialogue from this 1933 Fay Wray flick from which the later movie borrows copiously. Truth be told, the story works at least a little better here, and it includes extra characters that make the drama a little richer. On the other hand, the production suffers from some technical defects typical of the era. I should also note that the copy I saw suffered one of the worst colorization jobs I’ve ever seen. And speaking of “colorization,” this movie is very much a creature of its times in terms of racism and sexism. All that aside, it’s entertaining in a non-engaging sort of way. Mildly amusing

Review – The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Were I still in my Tolkein-reading, D&D playing, sci fi con-going phase, I’d probably live in the theater for as long as this movie was showing. Of course, were I still in that phase I wouldn’t have much of a life otherwise, so the theater would be as good a place as any for me. From the sound of things, several of the folks I shared the theater with were doing exactly that (the fact that they were there for an 11 a.m. show on a weekday was probably proof enough, and the ones in front of me in the ticket line referred to the flick only as “Lord”). That’s to be expected; the whole production is predictably designed to cater to the RenFest crowd. The bulk of the budget appears to have been blown on special effects, which is probably a good thing considering much of the action depends on maintaining the realism of the unreality. However, they might have dished out an extra buck or two for some of the actors; Viggo Mortensen isn’t up to playing a part as key as his role in this epic, and if Liv Tyler had to do much besides stand there and look pretty then she’s probably be out of her depth as well. Overall, however, the tale keeps moving well enough to remain entertaining throughout its three hour span. If nothing else, it was a pleasant trip down memory lane for me. Mildly amusing

Review – Vanilla Sky

The weirdest thing just happened to me. I thought I was in a movie theater watching the latest Tom Cruise vehicle. It was a really wretched piece of meandering crap about a spoiled rich kid who has/doesn’t have a disfigured face and killed/didn’t kill his stalker/girlfriend. It ended up being the most self-indulgent hunk of junk I’ve seen since Buffalo 66, the sort of drivel Phillip K. Dick might have written while trying to ride out an especially bad acid trip. After enduring more than two hours of this Cameron Crowe exercise in masturbation, I was ready to flee the theater. But just as I reached the breaking point, I woke up. The whole thing was just a bad dream. The only thing I couldn’t explain later was how my clothes ended up coated with smelly shaggy dog hairs. See if desperate

Review – Bruiser

What happened to George Romero? At one point he was at the cutting edge of the horror movie business. Now he seems content to work only occasionally, and if this outing is any indication of what we can expect from him in the future then he might want to consider staying retired on a more permanent basis (sorry George, but Dawn of the Dead is apparently far behind you). This is the ham-handed allegorical tale of a white, middle-class guy who wakes up one morning to find that his face is gone. Thus liberated from his identity, he goes on a killing spree that plays like an arty version of Falling Down. Despite a nod or two to Poe in the end (and a cameo by the Misfits), this outing’s a pale shadow of Romero’s former brilliance. See if desperate

Review – Voodoo Dawn

The video store I usually rent from had this one propped up on the horror shelf, which I guess is a natural enough mistake given the presence of the word “voodoo” in the title. And true to promise, the plot does in fact include voodoo, with various supernatural goings-on forming the more interesting elements of the movie. The problem is that the black magic moments make up only roughly five percent of the total running time. The rest of the show is devoted to a dreary little saga of lower class crime, a tale so boring that it becomes difficult to follow after awhile. See if desperate