Review – Leatherface

Add Lili Taylor to the list of award-winning actors whose agents need to be more diligent about screening for the words “Texas Chainsaw” in the job offer stack. This purports to be an origin story for the title character, though the production focuses most of its time on bet-you-didn’t-see-that-coming twists. The only reason I can see for sitting through this is if you have the “three-way sex with a rotting corpse” square on your horror movie bingo card. Oddly enough, it’s actually better than the last movie I saw from the same auteur duo. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – Piranha 3DD

In answer to the “genital violence” question on DoesTheDogDie, someone wrote “piranha on the ding dong.” That five-word observation was more entertaining than the whole movie. Even the copious supply of outtakes during the end credits were more tightly plotted than the previous 90 minutes. If for some reason you hate David Hasselhoff and want to see him humiliate himself staggering around in a terrible low budget horror movie, here’s your chance. And if you’re a 12-year-old boy who craves random shots of bare boobs, well, they make this thing called the internet. This production serves no other function. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – Strange World

I can only imagine what Uncle Walt would have thought of Disney making a pro-environment animation featuring an interracial couple and their gay son. They spent a lot of time and money on the animation, but the script is weak and the story consequently confusing. Though the movie is pleasant enough, I’m having trouble imagining it showing up as a ride in any of the theme parks anytime soon. Mildly amusing