Review – Divine Trash

If you’re a fan of John Waters and/or Divine, you should enjoy this documentary immensely. It doesn’t reveal anything especially new or interesting about Waters and his coterie, and many of the interviews are less than fascinating. It also isn’t a sterling example of the documentary art, structure and editing unobtrusive but not much more. On the plus side, however, it does feature some interesting archive footage. The behind-the-scenes material from Pink Flamingos was especially good. Mildly amusing

Review – Junebug

Once again it’s sophisticated urbanites versus country bumpkins, and this time the bumpkins aren’t even given the luxury of chain saws. Of course by now those of us who live in “red states” are used to cinematic reminders about what a pack of low-brow morons we all are, and the twist that makes us into comically quirky idiots rather than dangerous, saw-wielding idiots doesn’t necessarily make this stereotype any easier to swallow. But beyond that, I disliked this movie immensely because it moves relentlessly from one awkward situation to the next with almost no pauses for moments that don’t make the audience tense. Overall this experience reminded me of family reunions where I don’t know anybody and thus have to spend hours eating bad food and making small talk with more-or-less complete strangers. That’s a duty I’m willing to perform for the sake of my grandparents every now and again, but it’s not a good use of my video rental dollar. See if desperate

Review – Radio Bikini

Fans of The Atomic Café should enjoy this similar treatment of Operation Crossroads, the atomic bomb tests on Bikini Atoll. This one isn’t quite as funny as its more famous cousin, as it focuses more on the specifics of the test. In particular, the footage of bomb-mutilated test animals and the repercussions for sailors callously exposed to post-test radiation make for some upsetting viewing. But overall the archive footage of events before, during and after the tests makes a fascinating documentary. Worth seeing

Review – Born into Brothels

A photographer gives cheap cameras to a handful of kids in the red light district of a big city in India, and the rest of the movie pretty much makes itself. This production is priceless proof that Social Darwinism – particularly the notion that poor people are miserable because they’re stupid and talentless – is a lie. The subject matter virtually guaranteed that this documentary would turn out to be uplifting and extremely depressing at the same time. Emotional swings notwithstanding, the most impressive thing about these kids’ stories is just how good some of their photos turn out to be. Maybe I should show them this movie the next time I teach photojournalism. Buy it

Review – The Inspector General

True to the usual formula, Danny Kaye plays a good-hearted buffoon stuck in the middle of a comedy of errors. This time around he’s an illiterate performer recently fired from a medicine show, and through the usual series of unlikely twists he ends up mistaken for the Inspector General, a bureaucrat charged by Napoleon with rooting out corruption in town governments and thus much feared by the local potentates. The story is ostensibly borrowed from Gogol, but the main attraction here is – as usual – Kaye’s manic musical numbers and well-practiced physical comedy. The experience of watching this was marred by a couple of factors that had nothing directly to do with the production itself. First, years ago I saw the L.A. Connection do a voice-over version of this movie, and the scenes the comedy troupe used in its routines were somewhat altered by my memories of jokes about Michael Jackson and the Doobie Brothers. Worse than that, however, was the quality of the copy I watched. This thing looked like it had been telecined from a print that had been left out in the sun for a month or two. That notwithstanding, Kaye’s brilliance shone through and made this a reasonably worthwhile experience. Mildly amusing

Review – But I'm a Cheerleader

Imagine a John Waters wannabe directing an After School Special about teenage homosexuality and you’ve got some idea of what you’re in store for here. This picture’s heart is clearly in the right place, and it raises some important criticisms of society’s treatment of teenage sexuality, particularly the camps designed to “de-gay” kids who seem to be straying from the straight and narrow. But most of the humor depends on kitsch and/or cliché, and the serious moments frequently come across as stiff and contrived. Still, I’ve seen worse movies. And if I was a gay teenager I might find some comfort here. Mildly amusing

Review – Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

If you liked the first two, then odds are you’re going to like this one as well. It has all the same characters (plus a small handful of new ones), familiar locations, stock situations, and computer-animated magic stuff. The only difference I noted this time around is that the peril Potter and pals face seemed somewhat less apocalyptic than usual. Also, there’s a bit more of a sense of the series settling in for the long haul, introducing characters and subplots we can almost certainly expect to see again in the future. I watched this movie while taking a break from painting my bedroom, and in that role it served as an ideal diversion for a couple of hours. Mildly amusing

Review – Minotaur

Imagine the classic tale of Theseus redone as a bad Alien rip-off and you’ve got this Lion’s Gate / Sci Fi Channel Original firmly in your head without even seeing it. Tony “Candyman” Todd gets his largest speaking role to date as the evil Minoan king (and speaking of political correctness, why are all the bad guys in this movie black?), but despite my firm belief that he has potential as an actor he certainly doesn’t show much of it here. Of course he isn’t given much to work with. The bulk of the script is devoted to finding excuses for a band of raggedy white people caught in the labyrinth – more cave than maze – to fall victim to the horns of the computer-animated bull monster that passes for the title creature. I wasn’t expecting much from this, but I still came away disappointed. See if desperate

Review – Birds of Prey

The box for the DVD trumpets not the other triumphs of the director or the past accomplishments of the cast but rather the vita of the guy who did the aerial photography. I suppose that in a movie that’s mostly about helicopter chases, that’s a good thing. Certainly the chopper shots are the high point of this made-for-TV production from 1973 about an ex-Flying Tiger (David Jansen) now reduced to flying a traffic chopper. From his vantage point in the sky our hero witnesses a bank robbery. The robbers take a hostage and – as luck would have it – escape in a helicopter. The rest of the movie is chopper chase after chopper chase, punctuated occasionally by long stretches of pointless conversation. If you see this, consider fast-forwarding through the talking. Most of the dialogue is so stiff and contrived that it could have been written by Mamet and Tarantino, but only if both were having an especially bad day. See if desperate

Review – The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band

This is the best cornball musical ever made about how Democrat and Republican factions in a small town in the Dakotas react to the presidential race between Benjamin Harrison and Grover Cleveland in 1888. Of course, as this is likely the only such movie ever made, by default it’s also the worst. This is one of those movies that’s so indescribably bad it becomes amusing in a surreal sort of way, much like The Apple Dumpling Gang and other live-action movies from the same era in Disney history. In this one we have the added bonus of seeing young Leslie Ann Warren and even younger Kurt Russell playing roles that even at the time they must have known would end up being humiliating. We even get a brief, one-line appearance from Goldie Hawn, credited as “Giggly Girl.” If I were as rich as Bill Gates, I’d fund a Broadway version of this movie. It has more than enough stupid kitsch value to make it a big success. Mildly amusing

Review – The Constant Gardener

Rare is the movie that fails to work on this many levels. It’s a mystery about an English bureaucrat in Africa whose liberal crusader wife is murdered under strange circumstances. The truth behind the killing becomes apparent to even the dimmest audience member almost immediately, but our hero flails on and on trying to reach the place we’ve all gotten to ages after we’ve gotten there. Like some other movies based on LeCarre novels, this show features some action movie elements. But there’s nowhere near enough action for it to qualify for that genre, either. Having an international drug company and its government stooges play the bad guys suggests that the production is also trying to be a message piece, but the message is so simple-minded (poisoning Africans to test drugs for Western markets is bad) that it isn’t any more interesting than the non-mysterious mystery. Finally, the picture seems to be going for stylish and in places erotic. Heroine Rachel Weitz sort of makes it work, but Ralph Fiennes plays his character’s tense and nerdy aspects far too well for him to appeal to viewers as a hero suited to a slick, sexy action movie. The result has lots of ambition but not much achievement. Mildly amusing

Review – Land of the Dead

In an interview a couple of decades ago, George Romero said that zombies were the working class of the monster world. Now at long last he makes a movie that exploits class struggle as a plot point. This episode in Romero’s “dead” series picks up somewhere around where the last one left off. The last remnants of non-zombie humanity are walled up in cities ruled by the wealthy. While the upper crust continues life as pre-catastrophe usual in their luxury high-rise, the dwindling middle class ekes out a living on the streets. And outside the barricades the walking dead are getting smarter, not to mention hungrier. Though the characters don’t amount to all that much, the premise, the story and the effects are enough to carry the production. This episode isn’t as ground-breaking as the first or as good as the second, but it’s still a suitable addition to the saga. Worth seeing

Review – The Corpse Bride

Tim Burton is slipping. He used to be known for his excellent use of art direction to create unusual movies. Early in his career – in particular the animated short “Vincent” – he was doing this sort of thing with animation. Trouble is, now the look-and-feel has been co-opted by so many other sources that it’s just not all that much fun anymore. Indeed, large sections of this picture play like an early level of the video game Voodoo Vince. When the innovative visuals aren’t innovative anymore, all that’s left are standard stuff such as plot and character. And in those departments all Burton can muster here is the equivalent of a Rankin-Bass holiday special with goth-grim death themes rather than Christmas cheer. Burton veterans – including Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Danny Elfman – lend their talents to the production. Not bad overall, but far from anyone’s finest moment. Mildly amusing

Review – Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room

In some ways this is an interesting story. On the surface Ken Lay and his cronies appear to have pulled the biggest con job in history. These guys built a huge house of cards, painted over it with government connections, and then ran for the hills with their pockets well lined when the whole mess finally collapsed. And fortunately for the documentary-makers who would follow, they left a copious paper and videotape record in their wake. However, the farther I got into the movie the more I began to suspect that the crimes committed by Enron’s executives were neither as unique nor as scandalous as the audience was being led to believe. The use of creative accounting techniques to perpetrate a fraud on investors might not be all that widespread, but neither profit from corporation-created misery nor close relationships between wealth and government is at all uncommon in our society. I can’t very well fault the film-makers for not pursuing an indictment of all the corruption in American capitalism, but they nonetheless failed to sufficiently distinguish Enron from Haliburton or GE or any of the legion of huge bloodsuckers coddled by our economy and our legal system. Also, the off-the-rack music on the soundtrack is often more intrusive than it should be. Shortcomings notwithstanding, this was a better movie than at least a couple of other productions in the running for the Best Documentary Oscar, including the movie that won. [Supplemental note: they got convicted! Yay! Then Ken Lay croaked over, so now it’s between him and God.] Mildly amusing

Review – Salem’s Lot (2004)

Though this isn’t the worst vampire show I’ve ever seen, there isn’t much here to suggest why the miniseries from the 1970s needed to be remade. One of the best examples of the superfluity of the newer series is the casting of Rutger Hauer as Barlow, the chief vampire. He does an okay job in the role. The problem is that Barlow was considerably scarier in the first one, the voiceless nosferatu much more sinister than an old B-list actor could ever hope to be. And the whole production is sort of like that. It has some moments, such as the school bus full of vampire kids. But the brief scares don’t justify the overall effort. Mildly amusing

Review – The Invisible Man Returns

Has the invisible man ever been played by the same actor twice? I expect it’s hard to get a guy to repeat a role in which his face is hidden (or not there to begin with) throughout most if not all of the picture. And of course the studio has no particular need to keep the same actor in the role. Thus while Claude Rains made the original role famous, this time around it’s a young Vincent Price behind the bandages. Sadly, this movie doesn’t offer much that we didn’t already get in the first one. As a result, it’s a bit on the boring side. Mildly amusing