Review – The Animal

I want to write the next Rob Schneider movie for Happy Madison. A guy who eats a lot of food from Subway is hit by a bolt of lightning and fused at the molecular level with his lunch and goes on to fight evil with his newfound lunchmeat powers. Some random doofus swallows a radioactive booger and ends up with uncontrollable chest hair and fingernail growth, so he battles the forces of darkness with his long hair and nails. A ne'er-do-well clerk gets animal part implants from a mad scientist and uses the animal powers to beat bad guys and win the woman of his dreams. So okay, other than the title giving it away, what's the difference between the actual plot of this movie and the other two that I just pulled out of my ass? Seriously guys, just do a deal with Lorne Michaels and make Copy Machine Guy: The Motion Picture. It couldn't be much worse than this. See if desperate