Review – Red Planet Mars

I’m gonna go ahead and toss some serious spoilers into this review, so if that bugs you stop reading now. On the other hand, stick with it and I’ll absolve you of any need to actually sit through this stinker. A secret, Cold War science project starts picking up communications from Mars. The Martians tell us all about how wonderful their civilization is, which causes the American economy to collapse (because after all, why would anyone go to work in a coal mine when any minute now we’re going to get a magical Martian energy source?). But the Commies also find themselves undone when the Martians start transmitting Bible verses, inspiring widespread revolt behind the Iron Curtain. Turns out the original transmissions were the work of a misanthropic former-Nazi scientist, but the verses were sent directly by Jesus. How inspirational. Now we can all go to church and thank God for our collapsed economy and a rival nuclear superpower in a high state of instability. Wish I’d skipped it