Review – The Vampire’s Assistant

I suspect this picture will do a reasonably good job of appealing to vampire-obsessed tweens. It’s an even blend of R.L. Stine and Anne Rice, neither as simple-minded as the former nor as graphic as the latter. And I enjoyed seeing vampire movie veterans Salma Hayek and Willem DaFoe show up in the supporting cast. However, two things bugged me about this movie. First, it was painfully obviously set up for a sequel. That’s a fair gamble with a franchise like Twilight, but this picture’s chances of spawning new chapters are considerably more limited. I suspect the Cirque du Freak books upon which this was based served as the impetus for the gamble. And that brings me to the second big problem: though I’ve never read any of the books, I’m willing to bet that this one was actually two or three volumes mashed into one. The plot (goody-goody teen is transformed into the title character, joins a colony of circus freaks and battles evil “vampinese”) and characters have the feel of a flat stone skipping from point to point across the surface without ever acquiring any depth. This picture’s creators should have learned some lessons from Lemony Snicket. Mildly amusing