Probably for as long as there have been people, we’ve had the notion that people could change shape and become animals. Look to ancient Babylon and Greece. Look to the folk legends of China and Japan. Look to tales from Scandinavia, America and Sub-Saharan Africa. Look anywhere you want and you’ll find stories of shape-shifters.
The animal of choice is usually – though not always – whatever beast the local population happens to fear the most. In Europe and North America – relatively predator-free parts of the world – the most potentially harmful creature tended to be the wolf. Though real wolves aren’t dangerous (unless rabid, starving or threatened), they’re scary enough to become the stuff of legends. Being kin to domesticated dogs also helps with the whole wild-versus-civilized dual nature thing as well.
Thus when Euro-American cultures started making horror movies, they turned naturally enough to werewolves. From the early days of The Wolf Man and Werewolf of London, canis lupus was the species that all the trendy shape-shifters went with.
And in a way that’s a shame. Werewolves have a lot of potential, but there’s no reason to avoid branching out a bit. Were-panthers worked quite well for Val Lewton in Cat People and then again for Paul Schrader’s remake. Several of the Jekyll-and-Hyde screen adaptations have included were-something transformations as well.
But when choosing something to turn into, it’s important to select with care. Some things work better than others. Even if you’re going to stick with the tried-and-true, you’ll want to be familiar with a couple of werewolf guidelines before the full moon catches you unprepared. Fortunately, Hollywood has spent a lot of time and effort exploring what does and doesn’t work.
So when you open up the shapeshifting cookbook, here are some recipes to avoid.
Some half-assed excuse for a werewolf – Even budding shapeshifters who want to go with the standard option need to learn some ins and outs first. Make the wrong decision and this can go south on you quickly.
The most important decision you need to make is just how much of a wolf you plan to become. The “old school” (i.e. pre-Hollywood) approach is to go whole dog and change all the way into a real wolf. However, be aware that Hollywood doesn’t favor this approach. For starters, real wolves look too much like dogs to provide a lot of inherent shock value. They’re good choices when the monster is supposed to be attractive in a vampire-ish sort of way (Blood and Chocolate) or if they’re not actually werewolves at all (The Wolfen). But an actor loses screen time when his alter-ego is played by an actual animal.
Far more popular and usually more effective is to go with a hairy-guy-with-a-wolf-head option. This actually strikes a nice balance between human and animal. It also gives the special effects folks something to play with, whether they’re using mechanical (The Howling) or CGI (Underworld) techniques. But be warned: when this doesn’t work, it really doesn’t work. For example, the latex werewolves in Silver Bullet fell well short of Bernie Wrightson’s illustrations for Stephen King’s source novella. And don’t even get me started on low-budget misfires such as The Feeding.
Actors love roles that allow them to show their faces (at least until they have to spend several hours in a makeup chair). Thus they tend to favor the mostly-human werewolf look. If you’ve got a makeup genius like Jack Pierce on staff, you might be able to pull this off. But more likely than not you’ll end up looking like a cross between a terrier and Oliver Reed.
But at all costs avoid the tactic taken by War Wolves. The folks who made this barking dog of a werewolf movie decided all their lycanthropes needed was bad contacts, pointy teeth, big ears and brown noses. They look ridiculous. Moral of the story: if you’re gonna change, change.
Oh, and while we’re at it, don’t talk. The werewolf in Big Bad Wolf retained the power of speech. Big mistake.
If all that’s too complicated for you, then remember that you’ve got plenty of non-wolf options. Just choose with care.
Irish wolfhound – For example, Wolfhound features an entire village full of people who can turn into Irish wolfhounds. And if wolves tend to be too cute to inspire terror, wolfhounds have the same problem and then some. Sure, they’re huge. If one was sicced on you it would probably be an experience you wouldn’t soon forget. Otherwise, however, they’re just big, hairy dogs. Who wants to use the powers of darkness to transform into someone’s pet?
Marsupial thing – Still, the family dog might be a better choice than something nobody’s ever heard of. In Howling 3: The Marsupials, the beast of choice is some kind of extinct marsupial dog thing from Australia. Horror films can legitimately inspire a lot of different reactions without undoing their main purpose, but “huh?” generally isn’t among them.
If you have to change into something weird, at least make sure it’s something scary. Man-sized marsupials don’t ever work (see Tank Girl or Warriors of Virtue if you really need further proof).
Were-chimp – I suppose a chimp might do some damage to you if it wanted to. But over the years they’ve spent too much time dressed in tuxedos and cowboy outfits to suddenly make the jump to terrifying monster. The transformation is especially disturbing in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When talented African-American actor Tony Todd makes the humiliating switch to simian, the producers reveal a bit more of their racism than they may have wished.
Were-rat – Wolves, yes. Dogs and apes, maybe. Rats, nope. Mulberry Street proved that you can have an entire legion of zombie were-rat things and they don’t amount to a hill of beans. Something that doesn’t start scary doesn’t turn scary just because New Yorkers turn into it. They were more frightening before they made the switch.
Snowman – Okay, two problems with the psycho in Jack Frost deciding to turn into a killer snowman. First, transforming into an inanimate object poses no end of challenges. But worse, the were-creature here is supposed to be ironic. How can anything as jolly and friendly as a snowman possibly be a menace? What’s next, a were-kitten?
Giant mosquito – Honestly, does this appeal to anyone? Do I even have to explain why changing into a Mansquito is a dumb idea?
Fly – Yeah, I know. The original is a horror classic, as is the Cronenberg remake. Flies are gross, nasty, generally unpleasant. But unless you’re rotting garbage, they aren’t much of a menace to you. Now, if you’re a fly and you’re thinking about changing into a human, go for it. That brief bit of The Fly worked quite well. But don’t go the opposite way.
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