Monday, December 10, 2007

Making the holidays special (part two)

Last time I devoted the bulk of the column to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the shiniest jewel in the crown of Rankin-Bass holiday specials. As crowns go, it’s mostly paste and tinfoil. But two of the studio’s other efforts deserve at least passing mention.

My clearest childhood memories aren’t of Rudolph. Instead, the one I recall as my original favorite was “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” Looking back now I can only conclude that I must have been a fairly stupid kid. In my defense, I was really into the whole “origins” thing at the time. I collected the books Marvel and DC were putting out at the time anthologizing the comic books that told how super heroes first got their powers.

And the main focus of this special was the origin of Santa. We find out why reindeer can fly, why kids hang stockings for Santa, why he gives a crap about present distribution to begin with, and so on. I remember liking the Winter Warlock, except after he lost his evil powers he mostly just turned into a drag. Then of course there was the Burgermeister Meisterburger, the great hater of toys. He was scary in a grumpy-old-man-who-keeps-your-Frisbee-if-it-lands-in-his-yard kind of way. But he isn’t likely to take a prominent seat in the Villains Hall of Fame.

The only other Rankin Bass masterpiece I recall at all (except for some vague memories about an Easter Bunny thing) was “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” And even then to say that I remember it is a bit of an exaggeration. What I vividly recall are the legendary “Miser Brothers” musical numbers. The rest of it is just a misty mush in my mind.

Clearly that leaves a lot of Christmas special ground uncovered, but in the spirit of the holidays I’m going to try to keep this on the positive side. Last week I noted my affection for the Charlie Brown Christmas. Now I should admit that it’s only my second favorite special. Top honors go to the Grinch.

To be sure, it’s close. But “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” has just a couple of edges. First, it’s a bit more timeless. The moment when Linus takes the stage leaves nary a dry eye in the house, but the rest of the show is … well, let’s stick with the nice theme and just describe it as “dated.” The other big difference is a bit more important, but I’ll get to it in a minute.

First, let me sing the praises of the Grinch. This special brings together two amazing talents: Dr. Seuss and Chuck Jones. Better writing is hard to come by, as is better animation (particularly in a world without huge staffs and computer assistance). Add the voice talents of Boris Karloff, Tony the Tiger and Rocket J. Squirrel, and you’ve got a mix that’s hard to beat.

But really, am I the only person who noticed a more than slight resemblance between the Grinch and former senator from Kansas Robert Dole? Especially when he grins his grinchy grin, it isn’t too hard to imagine him contemplating not only Christmas doom for Whoville but also an extra round of tax cuts for the wealthy just for good measure. Seasick crocodile indeed.

Of course that leads naturally to speculation about whether or not the Grinch also shares Dole’s … um … medicinal needs. Thank goodness Dr. Seuss decided not to share that aspect of the character’s life with us. “He lived at the top of his grinchy grinch hill, with a small nervous dog and a little blue pill.” After all, sometimes a guy wants something besides his heart to grow three sizes by the end of the show.

Speaking of the network, to this day I remain a little astounded that anyone besides maybe PBS would have or even should have aired this particular story. The upshot of the tale can be summed up in a line that goes something like, “Maybe Christmas, he thought, didn’t come from a store.” But no sooner do we absorb this simple sentiment than we’re confronted with three to four minutes’ worth of rebuttal from some folks who beg to differ. No Christmas is complete without the new Pantooker Mark XII. Roast beast five-for-five.

And that brings me to the key distinction between this production and just about every other Christmas special out there: this one doesn’t fall victim to what I like to call The Pee-wee Herman Magic Wish Fallacy.

The reference is to a joke from the Pee-wee Herman Show (the original comedy stage routine, before he got a TV series). At one point his genie friend grants him a wish, which he gives away to his friend Miss Yvonne so she can wish Captain Carl into liking her. This of course leaves Pee-wee bereft of wishes, leading to an extended lament over his inability to fly. And when Miss Yvonne asks him why he’s so sad, he tells a story about “a boy” who gave his wish away. The upshot: “It’s not like the boy wanted anything in return. But then he didn’t get anything in return.”

The joke uncovers the fundamental fallacy of most Christmas specials. They almost always involve some sort of selfless giving. But before the credits roll whoever does something good is rewarded for it. If right action is its own reward, then it’s downright poisonous (not to mention frankly false) to generate the expectation that good deeds always result in material gain. Even in Charlie Brown, the true meaning of Christmas is defeated if the “homely” tree is magically transformed into something that meets commercial standards. We’re missing the point.

But wait, don’t the Whos get their Christmas stuff back? Yes, but they were already having Christmas without it. The point is clearly stated: Christmas isn’t about stuff. The stuff is nice, but it’s beside the point. Imagine how the production might have been different if the Grinch hadn’t been able to stop the sled-o-stuff from sliding off the mountain, and you’ll see what I mean. Rescuing Christmas is about the Grinch learning compassion, not about the celebration that goes on without it.

But hey, maybe that’s too much philosophy for the Yuletide season. So at this point let’s put specials to rest, and next week we’ll move on to the musical side.

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