Yeah, so it was a bit of a trick quiz. The short answer is “all of them.” The specifics:
The snake head is an excellent start, but problems crop up below the waistline. Despite evolving public opinion about sexual orientation, at this point it’s still a bad idea to send your son out in a dress.
I am Poseidon, Lord of the Sea, King of Getting My Ass Beat
The ghost thing is a step in the right direction, but this execution isn’t exactly a ticket out of ass-beating land.
Even Hollywood has figured out that you pretty much have to dress Robin Hood in jeans and a T-shirt in order to keep him from looking like the Sheriff of Nottingham is going to beat his ass. If you want to do the outlaw thing, try “biker” rather than this.
“Behold, I am the Thief of Ass Beat!” Seriously, that sword isn’t fooling anyone.
Harry Potter and the Painful Ass Beating
Octopi rock. But this one’s just a little too glittery, and for those of us who remember the 70s it’s also too Sigmund and the Sea Monsters. Plus I think we already had the dress conversation.
Bully: “Quit molesting yourself! Quit molesting yourself!”
Traditional vampire = goth outsider = ass beating. However, if you have to do the vampire thing, this one is way better than …
This one actually has matching costumes for sister, Mom and Dad. So your entire family can experience the joy of getting your asses beat by a 12-year-old.
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