Strange things were afoot at the Circle K

This Lens is doubly inappropriate because it’s about baseball and it’s at least two years old. However, I was surprised a couple of days ago when I was asked where it was on the site and it turned out I never posted it. So better late than never.

A couple of years ago the Royals ran a promotion at the stadium in conjunction with Circle K convenience stores. The trick was that the home team’s pitchers had to get a certain number of strikeouts (I think it was six). If they did, everyone in attendance could redeem their ticket stubs for a coffee or soda and some kind of candy. My thinking, as described in the following list, is that they needed to spice up the strikeout promotion by adding some extra layers:

1. Nothing
2. Nothing
3. Nothing
4. Nothing
5. Nothing
6. Gutbuster soda and a Snickers bar
7. Mocha latte and half a box of Junior Mints
8. Carton of orangeade and a Chik-o-Stik
9. Store brand bottled water and the other half of the box of Junior Mints
10. Large frappacino and a bag of off-brand gummi bears
11. Medium Slurpee, bag of Fritos, can of near-expiration Frito bean dip
12. 20 oz. Rooster Booster and bag of barbecue pork cracklins
13. Mountain Dew Code Red and microwavable cheeseburger
14. 2-liter of a Coke product and Baron von CircleK’s Heat n’ Eat Pizza
15. 24-pack Meisterbrau and carton of store brand cigarettes
16. 24-pack Budweiser and carton of Camels
17. One .45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Russian phrasebook and Bible, $100 in rubles, $100 in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, and three pairs of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good time in Vegas will all this stuff. (Or look closely at Slim Pickins's lips. I'm pretty sure what he actually says is "Dallas.")
18. Free tank of gas
19. Circle K franchise
20. Circle K franchise, free tank of gas, bag of pork cracklins flavor of your choice