Turns out Stonehenge is a giant timing device, and as it ticks down it activates environmental disaster machines planted by ancient aliens under the world’s various prominent archaeological sites (mostly pyramids). A small cadre of scientists battles to find a key to shut Stonehenge down, while a cabal of creepy cultists who want the world to end strives to stop them. Suggestion: take some of the untold riches the filmmakers no doubt earned from this masterpiece and produce a sequel called Buttwipe Armageddon. Thanks to sinister alien technology our toilet paper turns against us, suddenly coming to life during our vulnerable moments and strangling us like CGI snakes. Hey, it’s no dumber than the first one. See if desperate
Media criticism. Pop culture snark. And movie reviews. Lots and lots of movie reviews.
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