Review – Halloween (2007)

I hardly know where to begin. For want of a better place, let me start with Rob Zombie. Without passing judgment on his merits as a person or a musician, I urge in strongest possible terms that he be kept away from cameras, editing boards, and even word processing software that he might be able to use to create another movie. This outing entertains only in the brief flickers where it mirrors a shot or a plot twist or some other element from the original. Otherwise this hunk of garbage is pure agony to sit through. Michael Myers’ back-story, which took up less than ten minutes the first time around, sprawls across the first 45 minutes of this go-around (and if we learned anything from episodes two, four and five, it’s that The Shape is better off without a lot of back-story). Then there’s the graphic (and almost completely unnecessary) rape scene. Then there’s the frequent, vicious animal torture. But worst of all, Zombie sets Michael up as the hero. We’re clearly supposed to sympathize with it as it brutalizes everything in its path. Seek help, Rob. Avoid at all costs