Review – Resident Evil

Here’s a movie so bad that the most entertaining part about the entire experience was the person sitting just down the row from me who kept up a running commentary throughout the entire show (except, of course, when she paused to answer her cell phone). “Look behind you!” “Oh, your leg is on fire!” “That zombie’s gonna bite you!” If only the characters on screen could have heard her as clearly as I did. Then maybe she could have given them a warning they could really use: “Look out, you’re in an abysmally dreadful movie!” Having been thoroughly annoyed by a demo version of the video game upon which this movie was based, I came into the experience with relatively low expectations. Even so, the plot-free, episodic floundering of cardboard characters lacked even the quality action and/or gore that might have made it somewhat tolerable. To be completely fair, this painful ordeal did include a handful of scary, entertaining moments. They might have been even better if they hadn’t been stolen lock, stock and barrel from Dawn of the Dead. Speaking of which, I’m willing to bet that Romero produced his entire zombie classic for what they probably had to pay Mila Jovovich to flash some pubes late in the show. Someday someone’s going to explain to me why Hollywood likes making bad, expensive movies more than good, cheap ones. See if desperate