Review – The Eternal

I’ll bet in Hell this movie really is eternal. I’ll bet it loops over and over and over again and all the souls in torment have to watch it forever and ever. At least that must add a welcome taste of ennui to what otherwise would merely be a flavorless diet of red hot coals, pokers and oil. On our earthly plane of existence, this is little more than a boring bit of crap that has something to do with a Druid priestess resurrected by the proximity of a relative, a recovering alcoholic who’s brought her family to the auld country for a visit. Christopher Walken shows up just long enough to drop off his performance; I guess he must have been in the neighborhood and figured stopping by would just as fast as phoning it in. I can’t say that I blame him. The script is terrible, the production values nearly valueless, and the acting scarcely redeeming. Mummy fans be further warned: the box said something about a mummy in this movie, but aside from a desiccated peat bog corpse this sucker’s pretty much mummy-free. See if desperate