Review – Hellraiser: Bloodline

After the first two Hellraiser sequels were called Hellbound and Hell on Earth, I figured they had a real concept going. I was actually looking forward to Number Four. What would it be? Pinhead invades NASCAR in Hell on Wheels? Explores the fast-paced world of high finance in Hell to Pay? Disrupts a picnic in Hell in a Hand-basket? We should be so lucky! Instead what we get here is a muddled melange of three separate but interrelated stories set in the 18th, 20th and 21st centuries. Pinhead is a pathetic shadow of his former self (I guess getting killed as many times as he has takes a lot out of a guy), and his sidekick cenobites are as silly as the goofy plots. I suppose I should be grateful that Mister Crazy CD-head Guy didn’t make it back for this one. But I’m not. In fact, about the only thing I’m grateful for at this point is that this Alan-Smithee-lasted-about-a-week-in-theaters piece of dog flop is probably the final nail in the bald, blue head of the Hellraiser series. It should have died a more dignified death. Wish I’d skipped it. [Okay, I admit I was wrong about this stinker managing to kill the series. But I still stand by the rest of the review.]