Review – Chisolm '72: Unbought and Unbossed

As we celebrate the historic election of 2008, we need to keep in mind that Barack Obama’s victory was the latest step in a long process. And one of the key moments in that process occurred back in 1972 when Shirley Chisolm had the guts to make a serious run for the Presidency. Though the racism and sexism thriving in society at the time were far too strong for her to ever have had a serious chance at overall success, the hard work ably documented in this movie helped pave the way for the future victories against bigotry. Thus this movie makes a good “feel good” piece if you need one. It’s also an interesting demonstration of how the mainstream media – particularly broadcast news operations – worked to marginalize all but a select few candidates (something they of course still routinely do). Mildly amusing

Review – The Wraiths of Roanoke

“Based on actual events”? Well, yes, in the late 16th century there was a colony at Roanoke, Virginia. And yes, the colonists all vanished. But even though nobody knows what exactly happened to them, I’m willing to bet that it wasn’t actually the demonic spirits of evil Vikings. Once again “Sci Fi Channel Presents” lives up to its reputation. See if desperate

Review – BloodMonkey

I guess if they called this “ButtMonkey” it wouldn’t have sounded as scary. Actually, what they should have called it was “NoMonkey.” The first half of the picture is all set-up (group of college students ventures into the jungle at the behest of an anthropologist who’s more than slightly off his rocker), and the last half hour is all screaming and running. That left about ten minutes sandwiched in the middle that might have been good except it wasn’t. The real surprise was that the title monsters don’t actually appear on screen until the final seconds of the show. Honestly that was for the best, because the computer animated gorilla-of-menace seriously didn’t work. Oh, and what evil befell F. Murray Abraham to knock him off the pedestal of respectable roles and reduce him to this lowly state? See if desperate

Review – Snuff

This documentary about snuff movies is as unsettling as watching the real thing. Indeed, several scenes do in fact show graphic human and animal death. Overall it doesn’t have anything particularly profound to say. Most of the pictures that are controversial for allegedly being snuff movies are in fact amateurish fakes. A couple of serial killers videotaped their victims. Wars have spawned atrocity videos. And yes, occasionally a “traditional” snuff movie – a murder deliberately filmed with the intent to sell the picture to perverts willing to pay big money for such things – surfaces. What it lacks in substance it partially makes up for in visceral nastiness, provided one has the stomach for such things. On the other hand, the absence of serious content makes it come across as a cheap excuse for stringing together death moments from other movies, making it a cheap exploitation movie about cheap exploitation movies. And though one expects a certain amount of animal violence in such a picture, here it’s really, truly excessive. Avoid at all costs

Review – Hydra

A volcanically-active island. A group of wealthy creeps who’ve paid a handsome sum for the privilege of hunting human beings. What does this drama need? How about a giant, multi-headed snake that grows two new heads every time it loses one. The script is weak, the acting lousy and the effects second-rate even by Sci Fi Channel standards. See if desperate

Review – Prom Night (2008)

After watching a documentary about snuff movies, I wanted some old-fashioned, fake Hollywood violence to wash the taste out of my mouth. This filled the bill. A psychotic stalker holes up in his obsession’s prom night hotel suite and slaughters everyone who comes in. When the girl of his dreams doesn’t fall into his clutches, he goes out after her. Nothing distinguishes this picture one way or another. It isn’t clever. It doesn’t feature anything memorable. On the other hand, at least it wasn’t extraordinarily poorly-produced or honestly any more stupid than most other pictures in the slasher genre. Mildly amusing

Review – The Matrix: Revolutions

I’m forced to retract an assertion I made by implication in my reviews of the first two pictures in this set. Until I sat down to watch the final episode, I earnestly believed that if they’d cut out all the pseudo-metaphysical crap and just stick to fight scenes that they’d actually end up with really good movies. Well, I must not have been the only person who thought so, because the philosobabble is kept to a minimum this time around. Oddly enough, it didn’t really make the movie any better. Of course that’s at least in part because they replaced the boring bits with extended, effects-intensive mega-battles that are a lot more noisy than interesting. And as usual with epic trilogies (think the original Star Wars set or Lord of the Rings) the end is exceptionally maudlin. Otherwise it’s a worthy conclusion. Mildly amusing