Review – Hotel Transylvania: Transformania

More cartoon douchebags placing their loved ones in jeopardy thanks to their personal insecurities and basic dishonesty. More loved ones forgiving douchebags for placing them in jeopardy. At least it was short and Adam Sandler free. See if desperate

Review – The Eyes of Tammy Fay (2021)

Suitably enough, Jessica Chastain outshines everyone and everything else in this production. Between the voice, the mannerisms and the prosthetic makeup, she nails the title character to an uncanny degree. Honestly, it I didn’t know it was Chastain in the role, I would never have guessed. As a result, Tammy Fay Bakker comes across as entirely sympathetic, even when she shouldn’t have. The rest of the cast has varying degrees of success keeping up. Andrew Garfield makes an acceptable Jim Bakker, but Vincent D’Onofrio seems to be under the impression that Jerry Falwell and Richard Nixon are the same person. The story starts to sputter a little toward the end, but otherwise this is a solid portrait of the problematic entanglement between religion and grift. Mildly amusing

Review – Mortal Kombat (2021)

This reboot is slicker and more expensive than its predecessor, but the story remains video-game-adaptation simple. Once again Earth’s hereditary heroes do battle under confusing circumstances with invaders from another dimension. The plot doesn’t make much sense, but it provides enough glue to hold the action sequences together. Fight choreography is good, and the effects fit in nicely. Mildly amusing

Review – Peter Rabbit 2

Second verse, highly similar to the first. It’s impossible to watch this sequel without noting how often the jokes depend on the movie making fun of itself for commercially exploiting something charming, artistic and non-commercial. This left me wondering (and not for the first time) if a relentless meta-awareness of badness makes something not bad. That said, the animation is good. Some of the physical comedy is funny. And the parade of celebrity voice work is impressive. Mildly amusing

Abandoned – Dragon Day

I had hopes that this prepper fantasy would be unintentionally funny. Perhaps if I’d seen it back in 2013 I might have walked away with a different impression (or at least been able to finish watching it). But after years of watching this racist insanity hold power in this country (with no end in sight), it was more than I could take.

Review – The Killer Eye

Shit slinger David DeCoteau has amassed quite a collection of aliases throughout his career. In this effort from 1999 – one of six he directed that year, according to IMDb – he goes by Richard Chasen. The story – to the extent that there even is one – is about a scientist who allows an eyeball monster to cross over from the eighth dimension and have vague, softcore sex with a handful of dumb people. Given how thoroughly the niche market for this sort of thing has been eclipsed by easily-available porn on the internet (particularly Japanese tentacle stuff), this movie is likely to appeal only to a tiny group of viewers who were at just the right stage of puberty when it first hit video decades ago and are now for some reason nostalgic about the experience. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – Hacksaw Ridge

Mel Gibson serves up an epic version of a story that actually deserves telling. Army Medic Desmond Doss won the Medal of Honor for his service in the Battle of Okinawa, during which he saved 75 men who were too wounded to retreat from an enemy attack. The first half of the movie was a typical Hollywood mix of semi-accurate history and personal sentiment about Doss’s struggles to make it through basic training without violating his religious beliefs that prohibited him from touching weapons. But once the battle commences, the story improves considerably. Mildly amusing