Review – Billy Jack

This classic from the early 70s is a bizarre blend of peace-loving hippiedom and standard revenge-intensive action flick. The kids at a ranch school for flower children keep coming to town and getting into trouble with the squares. One solution to this problem might be for the two groups to concentrate on separating. Another might be for both to practice more tolerance of one another. But more often than not we end up going with what’s behind door number three: every time a townie does something mean, up pops Billy Jack, a half-white half-Indian Vietnam veteran Green Beret with one hell of a bad temper. So what could have been a movie about peaceful co-existence instead becomes an often-tedious parade of escalating violence. The weak script – frequently giving way to Altman-esque improv sequences – doesn’t help matters. Ultimately the moral here appears to be if you’re going to make a revenge movie, just make one. Don’t try to toss a lot of peaceful protest and fake Native American baggage on top of it. Mildly amusing

Review – Equinox

The folks who made this way back in 1970 seem to have had ambitions to be Ray Harryhausen but had neither the talent nor the budget to pull it off. The result is a muddled mess about two couples who find a strange book in an isolated valley, making them the target of an oddly-eyebrowed, shape-shifting sheriff named Mr. Asmodeus. This is the sort of movie that’s probably a lot more fun to watch if you’re stoned. That way things like terrible split screens, giant green cavemen and observations like “Hey, isn’t that the dude who played Herb on WKRP?” seem a lot more profound than they are when you’re straight. Mildly amusing

Review – The Tale of Sweeney Todd

In the wake of the Broadway musical (but several years in advance of the movie version), Showtime served up this “Sweeney Todd: The True Story” telling of the tale. Ben Kingsley stars as the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Amazingly enough, without all the elaborate Sondheim song and dance it isn’t all that interesting a story. Mildly amusing

Review – Blue Demon

I cast you out, Blue Demon! Seriously, how can anyone make a movie chock full o’ sharks without a single scary moment in the whole thing? Realizing that they were going to fall way short of decently aping Deep Blue Sea, the folks who made this stinker decided it needed to be a tongue-in-cheek horror comedy. And as usual with such efforts, it wavers between dull and offensive without ever approaching entertaining. For example, a government-funded project to create super-smart killer sharks is being run by the Air Force (most likely because the production company already had Air Force uniforms on hand). Then there are the “midget” jokes. Then there are … well, you see what we’re dealing with here. See if desperate

Review – Chapter 27

This appears to be somebody’s vanity project, the sort of thing that gets made not because it’s important or commercially viable but simply because someone is desperate to make it. And that naturally enough leads to the question “Why would anyone care enough about the guy who shot John Lennon to become obsessed with making a movie about him?” The obsession may belong to lead actor Jared Leto, who appears to have gained some weight in order to play Chapman. Well, at least they didn’t glamorize the guy. The whole tale of the killer’s activities in the days prior to the shooting is dreary and dull. Mildly amusing

Review – The Magnificent Seven

I found it difficult to watch this picture without making comparisons to The Seven Samurai, which detracted from the experience. If this stood alone it would probably be pretty good, especially for a western. But I just couldn’t stop thinking things like “that guy isn’t as good as Mifune” or “that worked better when Kurosawa did it.” That last criticism applied with particular strength to the ending of this production, which was extremely weak. Still, it’s a fun movie for the most part. If nothing else, Yul Brynner does his usual way-too-cool job as the lead gunslinger defending a small village from marauding bandits. Mildly amusing

Review – Saint Ange

Though Netflix listed this as “House of Voices,” the title in the opening credits was definitely “Saint Ange.” But hey, a turd by any other name would smell just like this. Many times I’ve written about movies that are generally boring but manage a good shock or two here and there. This one doesn’t even muster that much. It’s laconic, nonsensical and very French (despite appearing to have been shot in English). Toward the end it drummed up a mess of ghost children and appeared to be trying to make some kind of point, possibly about abortion. But by then I’d lost pretty much all interest in it. See if desperate