Review – A Return to Salem’s Lot

Larry Cohen conducts a master class in how not to make a movie. Start by attempting to make a sequel to a production people like, virtually guaranteeing that your work will be found wanting in comparison. Then write a script that makes no sense, moving awkwardly from scene to scene without logic or purpose. Cast Michael Moriarty in the lead so he can demonstrate his aplomb for flat, indifferent delivery of bad dialogue. Then heap an extra measure of disappointment on the audience by putting the vampire from the original in the movie’s poster despite the fact that he appears nowhere in this production (a bit of shameful chicanery continued by HBO for promotional materials on its streaming service). Dull. Not scary. Not even bad enough to be funny. Aside from giving 12-year-old Tara Reid her big screen debut, this movie serves no function at all. Wish I’d skipped it