Recently Mental Floss ran an article dispelling (or in some cases confirming) popular rumors about the Muppets. Among other things, I learned that the South African version of Sesame Street features a muppet with AIDS and Bert and Ernie prefer to remain in the closet for the time being.
However, my one great curiosity about Sesame Street remains unresolved: does the Count ever get tired of counting things? I imagine the following off-camera rant (use the appropriate accent when you read this): “Vy is it zat every time somethink around here has to be counted zat I haff to do it? Can’t anyone else on zis schtupid street count anything? I mean, come on people! It’s a hereditary title, not a job description! Hey, vile you’re aht it, vy don’t you take zat guy Bob down to the beach unt zee if he floats?”
On the other hand, the job does have its perks. According to another Mental Floss piece, the Count has been romantically linked (in an innocent Children’s Television Workshop way) to no less than three other characters: Lady Two, Countess Dahling von Dahling and Countess von Backward. I think that last one is either a lady vampire muppet who loves to count backward or a stripper who can’t do her act in Utah.
Further, I think we have to give proper credit to our OCD-afflicted vampire buddy. Counting things might seem like a fairly simple – even cushy – job. But a recent experience in a Micky D’s drive-thru has persuaded me otherwise.
“I’d like a number ten with a large Coke,” was my sad attempt at ordering my food.
The response: “You want ten large Cokes?”
Apparently somewhere at least one child got left behind.
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