My eight favorite kids shows (not animated)

Ah, sweet memories of childhood. Christmas. Birthdays. School (when it didn’t suck). And of course the idiot box.

I pity kids today. Sesame Street is still around (or at least it was the last time I checked), but most of the rest of these childhood favorites have long since fallen by the wayside, replaced by the likes of Boobah and the Teletubbies. Or worse, by dumbed-down, abortive attempts to re-create these classics.

Please note that these shows are all exclusively or primarily live action. I’ll do cartoons in another list.

Sesame Street – The immortal classic and the standard by which all other kids shows before and after are measured. Is there anyone out there (other than perhaps the Amish) for whom this show is not a cherished childhood memory? Sesame Street was such a success because it was a brilliant blend of entertainment and education. I’m of the opinion that the show slipped a bit over the years. For example, I like Oscar way better than Elmo. But of course I’m not exactly part of the target audience anymore so I’m not really in any position to judge.

Captain Kangaroo – This one wasn’t as teaching-heavy as Sesame Street; the Captain wasn’t there to get us to learn the alphabet or anything like that. But it was on par when it came to entertainment value. To this day I can’t look at a ping pong ball without being reminded of Mr. Moose. Captain Kangaroo is also noteworthy as one of the earliest examples of high-quality programming for children, getting its start way back in 1955 before much thought was being given to audiences with no disposable income. But more than that, creator and star Bob Keeshan genuinely seemed to care about his show and his viewers. Yes boys and girls, there actually was a time when kids shows had integrity.

Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood – I think I spent more time with Big Bird than with Fred Rogers, but the man and his make-believe neighborhood strike me as more of a kids show than anything by Children’s Television Workshop. Unlike the sometimes snarky and frequently manic Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers was always calm and comforting. He supplied the sort of gentle, repetitive material that young children crave. Older kids probably outgrow this pretty quickly, but for anyone of an appropriate age there’s no better show.

The Electric Company – As a show designed for kids who’d gotten too old for Sesame Street, this CTW production paved the way for less worthy bits of shameless marketing by Disney and the like. It started in 1971 and only lasted for six seasons, so by 21st century standards it looks pretty dated. Still, it’s hard to beat the cast. Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno were both regulars. The Adventures of Letterman – one of the animated segments – was voiced by Joan Rivers, Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel. Mel Brooks also did some voice work. Tom Lehrer even did a couple of songs.

H.R. Pufnstuf – The first half of this list was devoted to the sorts of shows that a broadcaster could say – with a straight face, no less – were actually good for kids. The rest of the entries are more purely commercial. This particular show told the tale of a boy stranded on an island with a magic flute, a witch, a dragon (at least I think he was a dragon … when I was younger I thought that if his name was Pufnstuf that perhaps he was some kind of half-assed puffin) and a cast of the people-in-puppet-suits that became such a staple of Sid and Marty Krofft productions.

Land of the Lost – Speaking of the Kroffts, I’d trade just about everything else they ever did for this cheap, three-season series. Land of the Lost was about two kids and their dad who end up stranded in an underground land that time forgot. The T-rex puppets weren’t especially hard for them to avoid, but the Sleestak – a race of sinister, slow-moving lizard men – were a bigger threat. And of course it helped for them to befriend Chaka the Pakuni, a Neanderthal-looking kid. If only they could have unscrambled the trays full of colorful rocks that controlled the doorways to other dimensions, they might have gotten back home. Good times.

Ultraman – Of the two Japanese shows on the list, this one’s objectively better. Science Patrol member Hayata saves the earth time and time again by using a device that looks for all the world like a microphone to transform into Ultraman, a giant guy in a silver suit who could shoot energy beams out of his wrists. His size comes in handy, as the planet is constantly threatened by giant monsters.

Johnny Socko and His Flying Robot – This is sort of a bargain-basement version of Ultraman. Being a kid, Johnny couldn’t be expected to transform into a robot himself. But he did possess a wristwatch with a hidden microphone that could be used to transmit orders (usually something useful like “Giant Robot, into action!”). The robot was a bit on the clunky side, especially compared to the sleek-suited Ultraman. But he could shoot missiles out of the tips of his fingers, so that partially made up for it. Master Socko and his grownup posse protected the world from the Gargoyle Gang and its slew of giant beasts.