Review – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

With a title like that, the movie’s likely to suck. And unfortunately it lives up – or should that be down – to expectations. This picture is so deeply dependent on mindless exploitation of its own series conventions that it’s like watching an especially dumb predator trying to eat itself. Before the end credits roll, our hero has discovered that he has a son (sorry if that’s a spoiler, but the presences of Shia LeBoeuf and Karen Allen in the cast list should have been a dead giveaway anyway), survived a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator, reunited a space alien with its head, and been saved from Commie evildoers by an attacking wave of monkeys (the most sickening, implausible rescue operation since the Ewoks). Harrison Ford may be too old for this sort of thing, but he’s a spring chicken compared to the clichés that drive this picture from beginning to end. It isn’t even technically a good picture. The pacing is uneven. The effects are lackluster. And if I notice continuity errors on first viewing, that’s a strong indication that the filmmakers aren’t even trying (and I’ve gotten bored enough to notice where the ketchup bottles are placed on the table). See if desperate