It could happen to anyone. You set up a girls’ school in South Africa, basing the students’ educations in part on The Secret. In order to keep things under control, you cut the kids off from their families, sharply limiting their contact with the outside world. But that’s okay, because you hire only the finest staffers South Africa has to offer.
Except oops, apparently one of the people you hired to “mother” the girls turns out to be an alleged sexual predator. The tiny autocracy you created proves ideal for this sadistic bully, allowing her to victimize the children at will. Or at least that’s the story as it stands now.
And by “you” of course I mean Oprah Winfrey.
In Oprah’s defense, when the ugly truth came out she sat down at the table with the big plate of shit in front of her and dug in like it was a HungryMan entrée. She acknowledged the problem and immediately began discussing ways to deal with it. Normally I’d be against praising someone just for showing a little basic honesty. But in 2007 it’s all too easy to imagine George W. Bush sitting at the same table. “Why do the Democrats want to play politics with this? We tried hard to set up a school like the American people wanted, and all the liberals can do is criticize.” At least Oprah managed a bit more dignity than that.
However, that doesn’t smooth over the underlying problem: Oprah’s empire reeks of the control fallacy much mused-over in the original Jurassic Park movie. The more she tries to establish absolute authority over everything around her, the more sand squeezes through her fingers. We’ve seen it with the Million Little Pieces fiasco. We’ve even seen it with the new, revamped, and now-suddenly-off-putting Rachael Ray. And now it afflicts some of the most vulnerable people on earth, sad proof that absolute power doesn’t even have to bother with corruption.
Elsewhere in the world, last week we were treated to a bizarre spectacle known only as the Environmental Media Awards. Big media drew a handful of B-list celebrities to a ceremony patting the collective corporate back for all the good work they’ve done for the environment over the past year. The only award category missing was “Most Successful Act of Pretending to Care About the Environment So People Will Watch Our Shows.” I’m sure it would have made a great, show-stopping grand prize.
And fast on the heels of this parade of cynical capitalism came NBC’s “Green Week.” I only watch two NBC shows regularly – My Name is Earl and 30 Rock – but I’m given to understand that all the network’s programs were expected to have some kind of pro-environment theme. Both shows rose to the occasion in ways well-suited to their themes and audiences.
On Earl our hero was forced by the warden to add a green theme to the “scared straight” production he put together for local school kids. And Tina Fey’s show featured a new, “green” mascot being used to sell GE products. So we all keep our too-cool-for-school reps while at the same time doing the company’s business. Welcome to the 21st century’s version of the best of both worlds.
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