Review – The Thing Below

Imagine a movie cheap and unimaginative enough to be truly worthy of such a title. Imagine Deep Rising reshot with bargain basement special effects. Imagine yourself renting something else. Terrible performers struggle to act out a story so stupid it actually sucks IQ points out of your head while you watch it. My particular favorite aspect of this production was the “clever” twist that an un-killable sea monster somehow has to use its power to cloud its victims’ minds before tearing them limb from limb. Illogical to the extreme, but it gave the director an excuse to stir in a western gunfight and a strip tease apropos of nothing. As much as I’d like to support low-budget horror movies, I need them to meet me at least partway. This one doesn’t make any effort at all. Wish I’d skipped it