Review – Tomb of the Werewolf

Once and for all I wish the damn video store would quit stocking movies like this. For many a year now I’ve been old enough to go out and rent or buy as much pornography as I want (however little that might be). That’s real, actual pornography, not sliced-up soft-core like this. Because when you cut the smut out of stupid smut, you aren’t left with much besides, well, stupid. There’s some kind of an excuse for a plot here, a mishmash about Elizabeth Bathory, a werewolf curse, and so on. But it never amounts to more than an excuse to move from sex scene to sex scene. Except of course in the version I saw the sex scenes had been almost entirely removed, making the experience more than a little like recording a TV show and then fast-forwarding through the program so you could watch the commercials. Not that adding a bunch of tiresome fake sex would have made it a better movie. It’s just that watching porn stars try to act always provokes in me as a sad mental picture of the days when these folks first showed up in California thinking they were going to be big movie stars rather than screwing for money on cheap, straight-to-video productions like this. Wish I’d skipped it