Review – The Order (2003)

I don’t know who ordered this, but it seriously needs to be sent back to the kitchen. The premise here isn’t the end of the world. The idea is that the Catholic church – or at least some quasi-respectable order thereof – is out to do away with a semi-immortal guy who for centuries has been doing business as a sin eater. I guess they don’t like outsiders horning in on their business. Honestly, the studio probably should have gone ahead and called the movie “Sin Eater,” except that would have made it all too easy for low-brow critics like myself to re-dub it “Shit Eater.” The acting and production values are approximately equal levels of mediocre. The problem here is the script. Elsewhere I’ve gone on record in favor of amending freedom of speech in order to allow a legal ban on 20-somethings making movies about religion, and here’s further evidence in support. Heath Ledger has enough trouble chewing through dialogue that makes sense. So when he’s up against an endless parade of platitudes and non-sequiturs, he doesn’t stand a chance. The plot picks up the pace and the interest level just a smidge toward the end, but by that point the movie has more than outstayed its welcome. See if desperate