Review – Cabin in the Woods

Leave it to Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard to find a way to put a new spin on worn-out horror movie clichés. I ignored this when it was in theaters, guessing that it would be yet another tale of twentysomethings butchered for the high crime of venturing out of the city. But recently I got so desperate to see a horror movie with any kind of production values that I added it to my Netflix queue. I’m glad I did. The reflexive twist to the old tale had a certain Watchers-watching-Watchers quality, but it was still clever enough. I also liked the nearly-Lovecraftian nature of the underlying threat. Overall the picture does a great job of putting a new edge on some of the genre’s tired old saws. Worth seeing

Review – Red Lights

They got the budget. They got the cast (Cillian Murphy, Sigourney Weaver and Robert De Niro). They even had a good premise: fraud-debunking scientists run up against a legendary psychic known for using telekinesis to harm his enemies. Yet somewhere around an hour in, this production began to annoy the hell out of me. Perhaps I was just in a crabby mood, but every little thing – from screeching feedback to ringing phones – turned the experience into a matter of endurance rather than entertainment. It didn’t help that the filmmakers opted to bet the farm on the final surprise twist, a decision that left them farm-free. Mildly amusing

Review – Brüno

After Borat, I was expecting something more biting and less Zoolander. Sacha Baron Cohen gets up to his usual tricks, playing a foreign character who pulls outrageous stunts. And every once in awhile he strikes a legitimate social nerve. But for the most part “dumb Austrian gay guy” isn’t that funny a shtick. See if desperate

Reveiw – Tomorrow, When the War Began

Looks like someone down under really likes Red Dawn. This actually doesn’t fare too poorly in comparison to John Milius’s great contribution to civilization. Some mysterious foreign power invades Australia, allowing the plot to partially side-step the geopolitical awkwardness of a named aggressor. The teenagers who form a werwolf unit and go to war are considerably more life-like than the Wolverines. That’s a plus and a minus. They’re more likable, but they also spend more time with typical 21st century teenage banter and bickering. Overall this is an entertaining if not particularly realistic action picture, not to mention an obvious set-up for a sequel or even a series. Mildly amusing

Review – The Legend of Bloody Jack

Sounds like the sort of thing you’d want to see a urologist about. And if you’re about to chastise me for being stupid and nasty, my poor attempt at humor has nothing on this poor attempt at filmmaking. From the start the production telegraphs its dreadfulness by setting up camp in northern Alaska where in the summer the sun never sets (i.e. they don’t have the equipment or lights to shoot at night). Then it bets the farm on the theory that a Jeep cap, bandana and axe make your antagonist the next Freddy Krueger. This picture systematically violates just about every reality check I have to offer low budget horror folk. If all that isn’t enough to talk you out of this experience, then feast on the description from its IMDb listing: “The legend of Jack the Ripper comes to real when one of his descendants revive him.” Sic. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – Paranormal Activity 3

I’m developing a grudging affection for the whole “found footage” deal. Typically these pictures have trouble maintaining logical consistency, and sadly this effort is no exception. But at least they tend not to rely so much on gratuitous gore or pointless boob shots. Some even sneak a few genuine chills in between dull domesticity and flimsy booga boogas. I could have done without all the kid threatening served up here, but otherwise it was a reasonably good specimen of the sub-genre. Mildly amusing

Review – Jackboots on Whitehall

This is like Thunderbirds meets Marwencol meets some crappy English sitcom. If you’re a big fan of British puppet adventures for boys or winking references to other movies (especially the Lord of the Rings set), then this tale of an alternate-history Nazi invasion of England may be your cup of tea. Beyond that, it squanders a stellar cast on a script that never rises much above low cleverness, sort of an anglicized watering down of the harsh vulgarity of Team America World Police. Wildly amusing