Review – Saved!

For a movie about the finer points of faith, this one isn’t the worst I’ve ever seen. And considering that it’s fairly obviously aimed at a teenage audience, I was actually surprised that it wasn’t a lot dumber than it was. Sure, this isn’t a serious consideration of deep theological questions. But it does recognize that at some point in their lives (often in their mid to late teens) many people begin to question the simpleminded religious doctrines that have been spoon-fed to them for years. The movie’s conclusion – that you don’t have to abandon all faith just because some of what you’ve been taught about God turns out to be nonsense – is an important lesson delivered without overwhelming amounts of kiddie-corn. Serious-minded adults may find some of the humor a bit beneath them, but for the target audience this should be a good experience. Mildly amusing

Review – Pulse

As is not exactly unusual with Japanese ghost stories, this production’s way more atmosphere than anything else. The plot involves ghosts from an overflowing afterlife leaking over into our world via computers. Not that it comes as much of a surprise that Windows machines are inhabited by evil spirits. The spooky visual gimmicks carry the picture for 20 or 30 minutes, but after that the creepiness wears off and nothing steps in to maintain the remaining hour and a half. Indeed, the subtitles tell a dreary tale of angst and ennui worthy of the legendary Werner Herzog himself (though the most famous name that actually shows up in the credits is Kurosawa, and even then it isn’t Akira). The production might also score a point or two for coming up with a new way for the world to end. Beyond that, however, this is just a big bunch of boring. Mildly amusing

Review – Syriana

This comes across as the international intrigue version of Crash. Sure, assassination plots, high dollar mergers and the like are inherently more interesting than Los Angelinos squabbling abut race relations. But that doesn’t make this a good movie. I was particularly disappointed by the lack of complexity in the plot. Other reviewers led me to believe that the story involved so many twists and turns that it was sometimes difficult to tell what was going on. There was some wheeling and dealing and double-crossing and the like, but at no point was it hard to follow, rarely even hard to predict. Overall this isn’t a bad movie. It just wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Mildly amusing

Review – Underworld Evolution

Not much evolving going on here, truth be told. Vampires. Werewolves. Vampires fighting werewolves. Vampires fighting vampires. The only real change this time around is slightly less plot, story replaced by action and a dash of nudity. The switch is welcome, but it isn’t drastic enough to count as evolution. Thus if the first one floated your boat, this one will likely keep you comfortably sailing along. Mildly amusing

Review – The Omen (2006)

Here we have yet another movie that didn’t really need to be remade, particularly not like this. Aside from a couple of dream-sequence spots, the scares in this one are no more sophisticated than they were in the original. The casting is odd at best. Mia Farrow’s supporting-role return to devil child cinema was entertaining, but the main characters simply fell short. I wasn’t expecting anyone as good as Gregory Peck, but if Liev Schrieber continues the trend from this production and The Manchurian Candidate he’s going to develop a reputation as the cardboard cut-out god of crappy remakes. In Julia Stiles’ defense, I’m not sure if she was actually wrong for the role of Damien’s mom or if I’ve just got her cemented in my head as the kid from 10 Things I Hate About You and can’t get past that picture of her. I also felt profoundly let down by the soundtrack. The music in the original was ground-breaking stuff, making the fake Gregorian chant into a horror movie cliché. Rather than develop on that, the score here is at best unmemorable. Overall this is a grey little disappointment of a movie. Mildly amusing

Review – The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

The addition of the strange nuclear test site town was vaguely entertaining. Otherwise I don’t have much to say about this that I didn’t already say about the original. See if desperate

Review – Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)

John Barrymore stars as the doctor/fiend in this early adaptation of the Stephenson classic. Though thoroughly infected with the technical difficulties of the silent era – particularly histrionic acting – this production holds up surprisingly well even decades later. The one notable difference between this and subsequent versions is that Barrymore’s Hyde is actually less physically imposing than his Jekyll, the former a hunched-over creature with spindly limbs while the latter is your typical “man’s man.” Otherwise this is a straightforward version of a familiar story. Mildly amusing