Review – Halloween 2

This one picks up right where the original left off; indeed, the first couple of pre-credits minutes of the sequel are a slightly re-edited copy of the very end of the first one. Unfortunately that doesn’t leave much of anywhere for the plot to go. As a result, the script meanders from death to death, challenging itself only to find mildly creative ways to end each successive life. Sure, Michael Myers’ motivations, particularly vis a vis the Jamie Lee Curtis character, are a little more clearly established. But that does little to justify an otherwise mostly dull debacle. See if desperate

Review – Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Though I’m no connoisseur of this particular sub-genre of action movies, I’ve gotta say that this is hands-down the silliest Robin Hood movie I’ve ever seen. Some elements are new to this production and not entirely unwelcome – such as the inclusion of Morgan Freeman as the title character’s Moorish sidekick. Other than the occasional small touch, however, this is a reheated version of the same tired old tale with a little politically-correct updating to make the love interest a little – but only a little – less the helpless damsel in distress. Heck, Kevin Costner couldn’t even be bothered to adopt an English accent for the starring role. On the other hand, maybe it’s better that he didn’t even try. This film was embarrassing enough for all concerned as it was. See if desperate

Review – Damien: Omen 2

As if adolescence isn’t hard enough, just imagine how much worse it must be if you happen to be the Antichrist. Well, imagine it no longer, since this film shows you what a terrible time young Damien, the demonic rug rat from The Omen, has once he discovers his role in the presumably imminent End Times. This sequel isn’t quite as spooky as the original, but it still has plenty of theological thrills to offer. I’m especially fond of the introduction of archaeology to the mix, though that’s probably just because it’s a personal passion of mine. Mildly amusing

Review – Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb

It’s like The Mummy’s Curse and The Mummy’s Tomb all rolled into one! Actually, this is a Hammer production unrelated to either previous movie except via the loose connection of theme. Here the mummy is revived to seek vengeance on those who desecrated his tomb (what a surprise). Actually, this is sort of a charming old movie in a 1960s vintage Hammer sort of way. However, you know you’re in trouble when the most sensible, most likable character is the ruthless American capitalist who wants to exploit the treasured Egyptian relics as a sideshow attraction. And you’re in even deeper trouble when the American is the first in a long line of the mummy’s victims. Mildly amusing

Review – Murder on the Orient Express

I confess that I’m a poor judge of the quality of murder mysteries, since I’m not a real big fan of the genre. But I do like this particular example. Based on Agatha Christie’s famous novel, the plot involves a trainload of people who all – except for intrepid inspector Poirot, of course – have some connection to a kidnapping that more-than-vaguely resembles the Lindbergh case. More than that I really shouldn’t include for fear of giving away the ending. Plot aside, even folks like myself who don’t have much use for mysteries may nonetheless enjoy this outing, which includes some top-notch art direction and more celebrity appearances than you can shake a stick at. Mildly amusing

Review – Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

De da de da de da de da it’s four days to Halloween Halloween Halloween it’s four days to Halloween Silver Shamrock. After you see this entry in the Halloween series, that’ll be stuck in your head for about a week. And if you’ve already seen the movie, just reading the lyrics here probably has it stuck in your head again. Well, for that I apologize. This is a true oddity in the realm of the sequel: a movie with absolutely no apparent connection to either of its predecessors. In fact, it doesn’t even seem to have a real firm connection to its own title (aside from the plot revolving around potentially lethal Halloween masks, one of which looks like a witch). Even though Tommy Lee Wallace wrote and directed, this still has John Carpenter stamped all over it. In other words, the basic premise is interesting, we get a few bloody murders and suspenseful moments along the way, but in the end the picture just doesn’t live up to the promise. Mildly amusing

Review – Gargoyles

This film starts out as a prime demonstration of the possibilities of a solid concept and a good script, even in the face of a low budget and the constraints placed upon made-for-TV productions. The set-up scenes, in which a roadside souvenir stand owner tries to interest an anthropologist and his daughter in an unusual, almost demonic skeleton, actually provide a couple of suspenseful moments only mildly dampened by the cheapness of the effects. It even manages to sustain an aura of creepy menace despite the intrusion of an annoying subplot involving teenage dirt-bikers (led by a young Scott Glenn). However, things start to go downhill after daughter gets kidnapped by a tribe of gargoyles plotting to take over the earth. It’s just a lot easier to get away with bargain basement costumes if you don’t spend too much time showing them. Mildly amusing