Review – Memory

I liked this better than I like most horror movies I randomly add to my Netflix queue. That said, however, it isn’t a particularly good movie. Billy Zane plays a doctor who gets zapped with some Indigenous People Magic Juice and develops the unwelcome ability to see someone else’s memories. “Unwelcome” because the person he’s sharing memories with turns out to be a child killer. The picture swiftly gets bogged down in its own uninteresting mystery twists and turns. At least they spent some money making it. I’d gotten to the point where I absolutely couldn’t sit through another guy-with-a-camcorder movie. Mildly amusing

Review – Night of the Demons (2009)

The façade of the mansion where they shot the exteriors is the most interesting thing in the whole movie. The rest is standard crud about 20-somethings who have a rave in a haunted house and end up beset by demons trying to worm their way back into our dimension. If you have an overdeveloped appreciation for latex demon makeup, low level soft-core porn or the bloated corpse of Edward Furlong, you may be in the right place. Otherwise feel free to spend the next hour and a half on something else. Wish I’d skipped it

I need a fix. Now.

I've already griped about the laptop being out of commission, right? Well, apparently griping angers the Computer Gods, because now my desktop computer is out as well. I'm typing this blog entry from my iPad, which I hereby humbly beseech the Computer Gods to spare as it's the only private computer I have left.

Needless to say, this hasn't been a big step forward in the getting-8sails-caught-up effort.

And it's weird just how addicted I've become to the computer. Or to be more precise, what I really need is a fix of connectedness (assuming that's a word). I feel like I've been cut off from the rest of 21st century America, relegated to peering in from a tablet-sized hole in the wall. This is also seriously messing with my work routines.

So I guess until tech support does something about the problem, I'll just go sit in the corner and read The Odyssey on the iPad.

Review – The Onion Field

Every once in awhile I get hit by the desire to watch a really depressing true crime story. Because there’s only so many times I can sit through In Cold Blood, this picture makes a nice back-up. A couple of small-time criminals (James Woods and Franklyn Seales) enter the big time when they kidnap a couple of cops. Though they shoot one (Ted Danson in his feature film debut) in the title location, the other (John Savage) escapes and later identifies the criminals. The rest of the movie is devoted to the sad outcomes for all involved, particularly the ineffective operation of the justice system and the psychological problems faced by the surviving cop. Though this isn’t a watershed moment in crime movie history, it does a good job of telling the story it sets out to tell. Mildly amusing

Review – Allegro Non Troppo

Italian animator Bruno Bozzetto puts together a parody of / homage to Fantasia. It follows the same general animation-inspired-by-well-known-pieces-of-classical-music format, but this stuff is not necessarily for the kids. The production has its weak points. The live action bits between the animations unfortunately re-enforce the stereotype that Italian filmmakers do physical comedy like old people climb obstacles. And a lot of the gender relations stuff is more than a little dated. However, the animation is clever and well matched with the music. This is a must-see for anyone who liked the Disney version but thought it perhaps a bit too self-important. Worth seeing

Review – Crucible of Horror

Is it just me, or does the word "dreary" automatically bring English crime dramas to mind? Movies like this help cement the association. Michael Gough plays a family patriarch who derives pleasure from browbeating his wife and literally beating his daughter (complete with some really gross Freudian nudity). The Netflix description promised that after the womenfolk tire of his crap and kill him that he would return from the dead to seek revenge. Naturally this conjured images of vengeful zombies a la the "Happy Father's Day" sequence from Creepshow, but what we get here is more "oh, there he is. I guess he isn't dead after all." The resulting production should more aptly have been dubbed Crucible of Boredom. See if desperate

Review – Seven Days to Live

Evil force tells a woman she has a week to live. Though this might sound familiar, the tale gets an interesting tweak or two. There’s a haunted house angle. There’s a dead kid angle. They spent some money on it (though it isn’t a big budget production). They got Amanda Plummer for the lead. The dead dog thing pissed me off a little, but at least the protagonist reacted with grief rather than the usual “bummer about the dog” brush-off pet death usually receives. Mildly amusing