Review – Riddles of the Sphinx

Heaven help me, I’ve seen so many of these cheap-ass Sci Fi Channel movies that I’m actually beginning to recognize the sets. This particular one happens to be about an ancient CGI monster unleashed by archaeologists. Fortunately for the effects budget, the beast is able to transform itself into an overweight wrestler with bad fake teeth. This isn’t any worse than other pictures of its ilk, but then it isn’t any better either. Mildly amusing

Review – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Though I’ve seen this movie several times, I don’t know if I’ve ever succeeded in staying awake throughout the whole thing. Parts of the picture are really good, but they’re divided by long, laconic stretches during which next to nothing happens. The movie has nice atmosphere, particularly when supported by Ennio Morricone’s legendary score. Clint Eastwood, Lee van Cleef and Eli Wallach play the title characters, three men in search of a hidden stash of Confederate gold. Mildly amusing

Review – Trekkies 2

Second verse, similar to the first. Denise Crosby once again explores the realms of devoted Star Trek fans. This time around the production values are a bit cheaper, no doubt to make room in the budget for trips to Europe, Australia and Brazil in search of the international Trek phenomenon. Frankly, they could have saved the money. The overseas footage was largely devoted to conventions, which don’t look much different in Italy and Germany than they do here. The crew also revisits some of the folks from the first one and unearths a few new ones. Overall this one seems more affectionate than the last one. I wonder if Crosby took some heat from the fan base after the first one made them look a little crazy. Though most of them look just as nuts, the spin is less freak show and more at-least-they’re-happy-and-don’t-hurt-anyone. Mildly amusing

Review – Magic

I remember when I was a kid (12 at the time) I was really spooked by the ad for this movie. If only the picture itself had been as eerie. Anthony Hopkins stars as a professional ventriloquist, and do I even have to tell you that he has a psycho dissociative disorder thing going with his dummy? Fleeing the pressures of show business, he returns to his old home town hoping to rekindle a romance with his old high school crush (Ann-Margret). She’s stuck in a loveless marriage. His agent wants him to get professional help. And so the soap opera goes. Some of Hopkins’s exchanges with the dummy are bush leagues creepy, but for the most part this is just dull. Mildly amusing

Review – The Book of Beasts

I need to set up a macro that will automatically type “Typical Sci Fi Channel fare.” Lame story, bad acting, cheap effects, 90 minutes worth of harmless brain candy. This time around it’s the children of the original Camelot crew – giving the production a Medieval Muppet Babies quality – up against Mordred and a magic book that makes beasts appear. So it isn't just a clever name. Mildly amusing

Review – The Devil and Daniel Webster

Poor Jabez Stone. When his contract with the devil comes due, he wants out of it in the worst way. Lucky for him he’s acquainted with the great lawyer Daniel Webster. This is a big bucket of 1941: it’s overdramatized and often downright silly. Still, it’s refreshing to see a movie that seeks to generate chills – and sometimes even succeeds – using nothing but script, acting, and some basic lighting and editing tricks. Walter Huston does a particularly fine job as Mr. Scratch, and Simone Simon does a nice turn as his seductive henchperson. Mildly amusing

Review – Forbidden Warrior

Usually one must turn to the Sci Fi Channel for productions of this quality, though I think I actually recorded it off one of the Showtimes. Regardless of venue, here we have yet another Asian-flavored sword and sorcery movie. A young woman – the “chosen one” – is taught martial arts by a blind magician while the two sons of a ruthless warlord … well, I think you can see where this is going. If you like this sort of thing, you’ve come to the right place. Mildly amusing