Review – The Eagle Has Landed

This World War Two drama fits quite well with the mid-70s environment that spawned it. The Germans are the heroes, or anti-heroes if you prefer. A team of German paratroopers has been sent to Britain to kidnap Churchill. They’re being aided by an IRA insider (Donald Sutherland, with an Irish accent so bad it’s almost a shame he even bothered to try) and a woman whose family was killed by the English during the Boer war, two folks who seem to have a legitimate reason to want the Prime Minister dead. The plot gets blown when one of the troopers dies trying to rescue a child. In other words, this level of moral ambiguity is a far cry from the days of John Wayne and Audie Murphy. The first time I saw this was when it first came out, and the venue was one of the converted hallways upstairs at the Empire theater. It was hot and stuffy, and it was hard to pay attention to the picture. So it was nice to at least be able to watch it this time through. Mildly amusing

Review – Pope John Paul II

Even by made-for-TV standards, this one’s a stinker. It’s split into two parts (thus technically making it a miniseries), and the title character is played by two actors. In the first part the young Pole is portrayed by puffy-looking Cary Elwes. Then in the second half creepy Jon Voight takes on the role. But the casting is sheer genius compared to the script. Characters pop in and out of the Pope’s life so fast that the audience has little chance to figure out who they are, let alone care about their contributions to the story. The emphasis throughout is heavily placed on Polish nationalism, leaving the impression that the man made no other contribution to the world besides anti-Nazism and anti-Communism. The direction was likewise dreadful; just one of the production’s many faults was the constant, amateur-hour use of awkward wipes to move from location to location. While I suppose the subject had his faults, overall I think he deserved a better tribute than this. See if desperate

Review – Adaptation

As with Being John Malkovich, this production depends almost entirely on its own quirkiness. The story is standard writer-with-writer’s-block stuff, the story-within-a-story (the book the writer is supposed to be turning into a screenplay) is about a writer with the New Yorker working on a story about an obsessive orchid hunter. There’s a lot of ennui, alienation, et cetera, et cetera. A paragraph-review description can’t help but make the production sound silly, even somewhat masturbatory in a guy-writing-the-screenplay-of-his-own-life way. And in at least some ways this movie is just that. But a simple description sells the movie short, because its charm lies in the little twists and turns, the small visual tricks, the details rather than the bigger picture. I’m not sure that it works for the whole running time, but there’s enough fun here and there to keep it at least close to interesting. Mildly amusing

Review – On the Riviera

This old Danny Kaye movie is a remake of an even older Don Ameche movie. For the most part it’s fairly dreadful stuff, a witless little comedy of errors involving a nightclub performer impersonating a wealthy aviator/industrialist. Occasionally Kaye’s brilliant sense of comedic timing shines through, but for every funny moment there are multiple uninteresting plot twists or apropos-of-nothing musical numbers (including renditions of such immortal classics as “Ballin’ the Jack” and “Popo the Puppet”). What a waste of some really good talent. See if desperate

Review – Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

This is the kind of movie that Showtime free preview weekends were made for. Paying for it – however indirectly – would merely add insult to injury. This movie has only two things going for it: an occasional bit of David Spade wit and a scattering of cameos from actual former child stars. The best part was a whole gaggle of these folk performing a “We Are the World” style song during the end credits. The rest is lame situation comedy and/or touchy-feely nonsense about a washed-up actor who pays a real family to help him relive a childhood he never had. See if desperate

Review – Dragon Seed

What an odd mix of contrary elements. This production is at once laudatory of and condescending to the peasant farmers of China. The first half hour or so is an endless parade of country bumpkin clichés with a fair amount of racist stereotyping (compounded by the fact that almost all the key characters are played by white actors). But once the Japanese soldiers show up to disrupt this rural idyll, this settles into a standard “This is the enemy” propaganda piece from World War Two. The script is stiff and the acting likewise. Katherine Hepburn’s portrayal of a young, idealistic woman is especially disappointing, so rigid that in places she seems to be concentrating so hard on being enigmatic that she actually appears to be blind. Or maybe it was just the eye makeup. Beyond a few interesting dips into socialism, this movie is probably best appreciated as a creature of its time. Mildly amusing

Review – Apollo 13

As one might expect given the subject matter, this is one of those movies that moves from one calamity to the next. As historical drama, it’s interesting. As storytelling, it’s more than a little tedious. Some of the special effects are fun, particularly the weightless stuff. Overall at least some affection for Hollywood and/or NASA will make this an easier pill to swallow. Verdict: mildly amusing.

Genre: Drama

Subgenre: Thriller
Date reviewed: