Review – The Pest

John Leguizamo stars in this movie that serves primarily as a showcase for the comedian’s manic sense of humor. There’s a plot here somewhere, sort of a sitcom-esque rework of the old “most dangerous game” story line. But almost all the amusement value to be found here is provided by Leguizamo’s almost constant parade of bizarre antics and the struggles of the supporting characters to keep up with him. Mildly amusing

Review – Sideshow

In the mood for Freaks, Something Wicked This Way Comes and The Funhouse but just don’t have time to watch all three? Well, as long as you don’t mind sitting through a thoroughly lobotomized version (yes, a lobotomized version of The Funhouse, no kidding), then you’re in business here. Full Moon pours its usual attention to quality and detail into this stinker about side show denizens who exact terrible and largely unmotivated revenge on empty-headed teenagers. See if desperate

Review – The Triangle

This made-for-TV movie about mysterious goings-on in everyone’s favorite mysterious-goings-on-spot is long in the promise and short in the delivery. For openers, it takes awhile to decide where it’s going. Is it a traditional tale of the Triangle? Is it a voodoo movie? By the time it settles down into a cheap rip-off of The Shining, the filmmakers have already let too much screen time elapse to reasonably hope that the plot can be saved. It doesn’t help that the characters (none of whom are especially interesting) wander more or less aimlessly around a big floating version of the Overlook Hotel until they’re snuffed in the most mundane ways imaginable. As banal TV productions go, I guess I’ve seen worse. But a better movie might have been made with the time and money squandered on this mediocre effort. See if desperate

Review – Backdraft

I guess if you need to have a movie about one of our society’s many sub-cultures of manly men, it might just as well be firemen trying to save lives. Cops and soldiers killing people right and left have their charms, but sometimes they get a little old. And apparently firemen are capable of just as much male bonding and macho posturing as their armed counterparts. For the most part this is an entertaining viewing experience, but at times it seems to be a little too ambitious for its own good. By the time the drama plays out, the audience has been treated to a love-hate brother plot (featuring Kurt Russell and William Baldwin), a murder mystery (with Baldwin and Robert DeNiro as arson investigators), political intrigue, and a host of other subplots. There’s even a taste of Silence of the Lambs courtesy Donald Sutherland as DeNiro’s old arsonist nemesis. Any one story might have worked alone, but they don’t always work together. Fortunately the rough spots in the story are smoothed over at least in part by the spectacular pyrotechnics. Mildly amusing

Review – Masters of the Universe

By the power of Grayskull! If I had the power, I would banish this turkey pot pie of a movie to another dimension. Further, I’m willing to bet that most of the cast (including Dolph Lundgren as He-Man, Frank Langela as Skeletor, and even a then-unknown Courtney Cox as the teen love interest) would gladly chip in for whatever incidental expenses we encountered along the way to committing this stinker to oblivion. The sad part is that if they’d stuck with the straight fantasy stuff, this might not have been as terrible as it turned out to be; at least it wouldn’t have been much worse than the wretched kiddie show upon which the whole shebang was based. But by the time they’ve tossed in dimension-hopping to Earth in the 1980s – complete with empty-headed 80s-era teenagers (and they’re the heroes) – well, it’s just too much stupid for one flick. The effects are okay for the era, but even this high point pales in comparison to much that came later. If you have antsy and easily-amused pre-teens on your hands, this might shut them up for at least a little while. Then again, it might not. See if desperate

Review – Traffic

Kids, just say no to stinkers like this. I’m not exactly Mr. Everybody Must Get Stoned, but if this is the alternative then it’s actually worse. Honestly, anti-drug screed this stupid hasn’t graced the silver screen since the days of Reefer Madness. Here we have four loosely-intertwined subplots all centered around the drug trade. The stories range from a mildly interesting tale of a Mexican cop (Benicio Del Toro) caught up in a web of corruption all the way down to the sad saga of a newly-appointed Drug Czar (Michael Douglas) with an addict for a daughter. Particularly in the Douglas piece, the treatment of the subject is so stupid it borders on offensive; the thesis appears to be that if rich white girls are allowed to get hooked on drugs, they become sex-crazed junkies who grant carnal favors to black guys in exchange for a fix. Even the basic film-making technique is off, heavily emphasizing amateurish gimmicks such as heavy filtration and jump cutting. Though this crud picked up four Oscars, I hope the passage of time will help make it as laughable as its predecessors from the 30s through the 60s. See if desperate

Review – The People vs. Larry Flynt

Woody Harrelson heads up a celebrity-and-cameo-studded cast (including porn king Flynt himself as the first judge to throw him behind bars for peddling smut) in this drama about the First Amendment battles waged in the name of keeping the world safe for Hustler magazine. The Hollywoodization of Flynt’s life tends to over-glamorize the toad more than a little, and to be honest I think the main point of the movie – that censorship is bad no matter how loathsome the victim might be – is lost when the anti-hero becomes too sympathetic. That notwithstanding, this is an oddly encouraging movie, especially during the scenes featuring Ed Norton as Flynt’s long-suffering lawyer. Even Courtney Love works well in her semi-cross-over role as his junkie wife. Worth seeing