Review – Gold Diggers of 1933

Here’s an immortal classic of the fast-forward-through-the-talking ilk. The musical numbers in this Busby Berkeley opus are not to be missed, particularly the famous “We’re in the Money” opening number and the equally-well-known neon violins sequence later in the picture. Beyond that, however, this is little more than a corny stage door musical, complete with ingénues, wise-cracking producers, and the rest of the usual cast of characters. The final show-stopper, a tune about “forgotten men,” is too much a creature of its times to provide much amusement beyond the sheer spectacle of the set. But if you can stand the corn, this is a reasonably entertaining show. Mildly amusing

Review – Crazy as Hell

Which is what you’d have to be to voluntarily sit through this cliché-ridden stinker. This outing deserves at least some measure of recognition for casting African American actors in both of the lead roles; even in these supposedly more diversity-oriented times, the horror genre remains largely segregated. So if it takes Eriq La Salle in the director’s chair to get a black man cast in a horror lead, then so be it. I’ll also toss in a quick hurrah for the decision to have a fat actress do frontal nudity, though the hurrah is tempered by the impression that it was done strictly for shock value. But so much for the faint praise. Now for the damning. This is one of those annoying movies that rests almost all its entertainment potential on its ability to shock and surprise. It does neither well. Instead, it relies heavily on predictable plot twists (especially the “surprise” ending), sophomoric theological musings and cheap, soft-core sex. The offensive, stereotypical treatment of the mentally ill was the final capper. See if desperate

Review – What’s Up, Doc?

The basic idea here appears to be a live-action parade of old Warner Brothers cartoon clichés. That alone might have actually worked. Even with Buck Henry writing and Peter Bogdanovich in the director’s chair, the movie might still have had a chance. But this elaborate house of cards collapses under its own weight thanks to the emphasis throughout on a romance between sixties pop movie icons Ryan O’Neil and Barbara Streisand. I expect this outing was probably a great deal more entertaining back when it first came out. Thirty years ago the sub-references were probably a bit fresher and the clichés more ironic and less tedious. One bright spot: this was Madeline Kahn’s film debut. See if desperate

Review – GoldenEye

Pierce Brosnan’s tenure as Bond gets off to a less-than-auspicious start in this mediocre outing. Brosnan does a fine job in the lead role, so the problems can’t really be laid at his doorstep. Nor can the effects or production values be faulted; they hold up their end of the bargain. The script, on the other hand, could have used some work. The basic premise – terrorists steal a device that controls a Soviet surplus killer satellite – is solid enough. But once the motor’s turned on nobody ever really steps on the accelerator. The story gets weighed down with even more silliness than one expects from a Bond movie, including a sadistic female assassin who kills men by crushing them between her thighs. That might have played back in the Connery days, but not anymore. Mildly amusing

Review - Feardotcom

The year is young as I review this movie (the second day of February), but thus far this is the current odds-on favorite for Best Concept Turned Into Worst Movie. The premise here is that there’s a torture-and-snuff video site on the Internet and anyone who signs onto it ends up dead within 48 hours. Even the supporting material wasn’t too bad, including several Felini-esque nightmare hallucinations experienced by those condemned to death by their curiosity. But the devil here lies in the delivery. I enjoyed the bizarre hallucination/nightmare sequences in director William Malone’s earlier outing, House on Haunted Hill. But I didn’t like them enough to want to sit through an entire movie composed of almost nothing but. There’s a good effect here and there, but nothing that actually justifies the rental price. See if desperate

Review – Signs

I hereby swear off M. Night Shyamalan movies. As if The Sixth Sense wasn’t enough of a warning. Here we have the evil menace of crop circles worked into a larger tapestry that includes everything from a single dad who’s lost his faith in God right up to an Independence Day-esque alien invasion. The concept doesn’t amount to much: space aliens who haven't invented clothes or weapons nonetheless travel the vast gulfs of interstellar space in search of conquest. Despite the fact that they're allergic to water, they come to the only planet in the solar system that has the stuff in liquid form. And once they get here, they can't find their way around without cutting circles in farmers' crops. Stiff acting and intrusive camera work don’t exactly help matters any. The most amusement I managed to derive from the whole thing was the declaration from one of my students that she didn’t want to see the movie because, “that shit could really happen.” See if desperate