Review – Lilo & Stitch

It’s been awhile since I watched a feature-length Disney animation, but this one strikes me as somewhat different from the ones I’ve seen in the past. Sure, the basic plot structure is pure Holy Rodent Empire: a talented little girl raised by her sister and snubbed by her peers befriends a hostile life form from outer space who turns out to be a cuddly yet mischievous source of much physical comedy. And for what it’s worth, when the movie’s busy being cute or funny it does an excellent job. Trouble is, the movie also spends a lot of time placing its characters in awful peril or leaving them to bemoan their various misfortunes. There’s also a good deal more combat than most Disney outings featured in the past, particularly firearms-related violence that seemed like it would be more at home in a video game than in a children’s movie. Though I’m usually not squeamish about such things, it just seemed out of place in a picture that otherwise did such an outstanding job of being genuinely charming. In short, the funny parts are funny, the cute parts are cute, but the action and the depressing stuff are more than a bit of a bummer and take up far too much screen time. Mildly amusing

Review – Along Came a Spider

Okay, now it’s official: I’m tired of the whole psychological profiling detective thing. Truth be told, it was old even before Silence of the Lambs, and even with Morgan Freeman playing the part it’s just too tiresome to be appealing. Other than that this is yet another high-budget crime thriller, the kind that depends on plot twists – ranging from the predictable to the ridiculous with precious little middle ground – rather than story or character to hold the audience’s interest. And this audience member wasn’t particularly interested. Mildly amusing

Review – Stephen King’s The Shining

In my review of Stanley Kubrick’s version of this tale I’ve already expressed bewilderment that King would go to all the trouble to have an outstanding movie remade. I re-express that bewilderment here. It’s not that this is a bad movie. Indeed, in the world of the prolonged, made-for-TV miniseries this is actually one of the better representatives. The script is better than the original. And few would argue against the assertion that Rebecca DeMornay has a bit more “screen presence” than Shelly Duvall. That notwithstanding, there’s a lot of surplus junk in the story this time around. I know that’s necessary for the intended format, but even so a lot of the script is repetitive or otherwise unneeded. The characters are more developed, but at the same time the treatment of the Torrance family (especially Jack) is sentimental to the point of seeming saccharine at points. And it goes without saying that the small screen version is nowhere near as visually impressive as the Maestro di Color’s production. Mildly amusing

Review – Monster’s Ball

Wow. Here’s an interesting take on racism. On the surface this appears to be the story of a white prison guard (Billy Bob Thornton) who overcomes his ingrained bigotry and general assholism after his son commits suicide and he falls in love with a black woman (Halle Berry). But on the other hand, this is also the story of a black woman who has everything taken from her and can only self-actualize by becoming dependent on the white prison guard who executed her husband. So depending on how you look at it, this is either an uplifting tale about how its never too late to change for the better or a 700-Club-esque morality lesson on how much better off women and people of color would be if they’d just trust white guys to take care of everything. Either way, the direction is over-wrought and the movie (script, acting, the whole nine yards) handles human suffering with a level of emotional depth usually reserved for the “gloom, despair and agony on me” number on Hee Haw. See if desperate

Review – Mr. Deeds

Oddly enough, I liked this one a lot more than I thought I would. Maybe I was just in the mood for a stupid comedy starring Adam Sandler. Maybe it was just Friday night. Objectively, I suppose it probably wasn’t all that good a movie. It was a remake of a corny old screwball comedy. The jokes were lame. The chemistry between Sandler and Winona Ryder was … well, it wasn’t. Despite all that, the plot was vaguely uplifting in an everyday-Joe-gets-the-better-of-a-bunch-of-snooty-rich-jerks kind of way, and the jokes – lame as they were – kinda worked. Though this isn’t exactly going to headline at Cannes, it’s an entertaining way to spend a tired Friday night. Mildly amusing

Review – Antitrust

Who would ever have thought being a computer nerd could be such an action-packed career option? I guess if you’re going to work for an evil corporation that’s trying to corner the communication software market by killing young entrepreneurs and stealing their ideas, you’re bound to be in for a somewhat bumpy ride. Tim Robbins does a good job as the creepy, Bill Gates-esque mogul at the helm of the creepy, Microsoft-esque corporation that’s trying to take over the world. Thank goodness for the wunderkind programmer who, recently hired by the bad guys and prompted by the assassination of one of his old friends, decides to bring the whole show to a halt. Spectacularly uninteresting intrigue ensues. This one’s mostly for the techno-geek set. Mildly amusing