Review – Halloween H20

Obviously not as good as the original, but on the other hand at least not as bad as the last couple of sequels (not that that’s saying much). Jamie Lee Curtis returns for the first time since #2 as the emotionally-scarred Laurie, who despite a faked death and another name change is still being pursued by her psychotic brother. The end, with its obligatory multiple “deaths” for the monster, is typically tedious. But otherwise this isn’t too bad as slasher sequels go. Mildly amusing

Review – Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

This one has trouble deciding whether it wants to be a serious supernatural thriller or just another cheap  slasher outing. In the end it doesn’t function especially well as either one, lacking a plot strong enough to pull off the former and coming up too short in the nudity and gore departments (though it does feature a little of each) to succeed on the latter count. Further, as is common with high-number sequels, this movie just seems to lack raison d’etre as much as anything else. What a shame this had to be Donald Pleasance’s last film. See if desperate

Review – Halloween

One of the great progenitors of the slasher genre, Carpenter’s early masterpiece still holds up pretty well even after 20 years. Just about every member of my age group has some story about being scared witless by Halloween when it first came out (or when they first saw it on cable). The movie’s mix of teenage angst and sexuality, combined with a hearty dose of the urban-legendary Boogeyman, assures it a proper place in the history of horror flicks. Buy the tape

Review – Godzilla, King of the Monsters

Fans of the happy-go-lucky giant lizard who bravely defends Earth against the likes of Ghidorah, doing a gleeful little hornpipe after vanquishing his foes, will scarcely recognize the nightmare creature in this, the first Godzilla movie ever. The black and white film gives the movie an almost documentary feel in places, and it’s not hard to view this as at least a half-hearted attempt at some serious social commentary about the dangers of nuclear war and science-run-riot. The version most commonly available here in the States is a peculiar melange of the original Japanese version, dubbed and un-dubbed, and filler scenes shot with Raymond Burr to help explain the plot for the American audiences (not to mention providing the film with a caucasian hero). Someday I’d like to see a print that doesn’t include a bunch of Burr talking to actors that we only see from the back (because they’re standing in for the actors in the original Japanese version and, presumably, the Japanese actors weren’t available to have pithy conversations with an American actor just for the sake of the US release). Worth seeing

Review – The X Files

At one point I set myself up with the goal of seeing at least one film beginning with each letter of the alphabet within the space of a single year. For most letters, this wasn’t much of a challenge at all. X, on the other hand, had me pretty desperate by the end of October. Part of the hype on this TV-series-spawn was that it had been deliberately designed so that even folks who didn’t follow the small-screen adventures of the fearless paranormal agents could still appreciate the movie. I’m not sure that I disagree with this as a basic premise, though certainly there were some in-jokes from the series (things that the only X Files watcher in the room caught and nobody else got). Rather, I tend to believe that the need for a firm grounding in the first five seasons of the popular Fox network program had more to do with building up a tolerance for plot-free meandering from one semi-bizarre situation to another. Want to have some fun with this film? Watch carefully and try and count all the other sci fi and horror movies they’re ripping off. See if desperate

Review – The Manchurian Candidate

On the all-time list of political thrillers, this one has to be one of the top ten (if not in fact number one). This film would be legendary even if it stopped right after the famous garden club a la brainwashing lecture sequences. And of course it doesn’t stop there. It’s a little rough in spots, and it owes a lot to the book, but otherwise this one is a must see. Buy the tape

Review – G.I. Jane

Contest: what’s worse, the tediousness of the message, Demi Moore’s acting, or how broken the cinematographer’s light meter is? Decisions, decisions. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – The Night Flyer

If you stick Stephen King’s name on it, they will come. This abnormally stupid vampire movie has little to recommend it beyond the connection to the King story of the same name. See if desperate

Review – Never Say Never Again

Tired, old remake of an older and more tired Bond movie, Thunderball (something about the way the rights to the Ian Fleming novel were transferred left it vulnerable to remake by a different studio). This one stars tired, old Sean Connery in a role that, by this stage in his career, had become little more than self-parody. Also more than a little embarrassing for Kim Basinger, whose career sun was rising as Connery’s had begun to set (or at least his career as Bond-style characters, as he went on to further success with other types of roles). If you have to pick between this one and Thunderball, I’d say go with this one, if only because the production values are a little slicker. But only if you have to pick between the two. See if desperate

Review – The Negotiator

By the end of this movie, the viewing experience feels like sitting through around ten hours of macho posturing punctuated by extra-loud gunfights. Still, this is a prime specimen of some of the tricks screenwriters like to pull to mess with the audience’s minds and stir a stultifying, motionless plot. For example, in this wrong-man tale of a hostage negotiator caught up in a corruption scandal that drives him to take hostages of his own, we have the guy who’s so obviously involved in the conspiracy that you just know he isn’t really part of it, the apparent murder that turns out not to be a murder after all, a cop who turns out to be his own informant (no kidding), and a whole host of other obnoxious little plot stunts that will someday descend to the level of cheap cliché (if they haven’t already done so). Even Samuel L. Jackson and Kevin Spacey can’t save this clinker. See if desperate

Review – Warlock

Julian Sands may well be at the upper limits of his acting abilities as an evil sorcerer magically transplanted from the 17th to the 20th century in search of a book that will allow him to undo creation. However, the show is effectively stolen by Richard E. Grant as the witch hunter who pursues him across time. Overall this film has a few worthwhile moments but not much more. Mildly amusing

Review – Major League 2

Worthy sequel to one of baseball’s better movies. Beset by the genre’s usual sappiness, this film nonetheless works in some first-class sight gags and the like. For instance, the Rick Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) deodorant commercial is one of the great moments of screen comedy. Most real baseball fans will also recognize the Randy Quaid character (though of course those guys usually aren’t that witty). It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the sequel isn’t quite as fresh as the original, but on the other hand it doesn’t waste as much time on the Berenger/Russo subplot (in fact, she’s barely in it at all). Worth seeing

Review – Wag the Dog

Dustin Hoffman and Robert DeNiro head up an ensemble cast in true Barry Levinson style. Loosely based on American Hero by Larry Beinhart, the film version drops a lot of the noir-wannabe nonsense and plays up the sarcastic sniping at media manipulation of America’s patriotic impulses (with obvious parallels to the Gulf War, which was the McGuffin of the book). Woody Harrelson is especially funny as the briefly-appearing accidental hero of an imaginary war. This is the meanest film I’ve seen in awhile (especially if you don’t count Citizen Ruth, which was meaner and also more consistently funny). Worth seeing

Review – Dave

I would love to have been at the pitch meeting for this script. “Okay, it’s a remake of Kurosawa’s Kagemusha, only it’s a light comedy!” And the studio funded it anyway. Wow. I suppose this made it onto HBO during the Clinton impeachment hearings (when I saw it) due to the parallels between the sex lives of the President in this movie and the real President. Sidelights include several cameos by politicians and political wonks, not to mention Ving Rhames with hair. Predictably enough, it gets a little sappy. But all things considered, it’s not too bad. Worth seeing

Review – Ghost Story

A generic name for a generic movie based a novel by Peter Straub. Actually, this isn’t the worst ghost story movie ever made, but it is fairly predictable. If you’re in the mood for a grim picture about a group of old men who are being offed one by one by the vengeful Skeleton Head Lady spirit of a woman they drowned decades earlier, then your expectations will be more than met here. Mildly amusing

Review – Lost in Space

There must be a formula for making 1960s sci-fi series into 1990s sci-fi movies. More expensive productions. Better special effects. Stronger female characters. Nineties themes like family bonding in place of the more straightforward battles with men in monster suits made of shag carpet. They even added big-name talent including William Hurt and Gary Oldman. But still it somehow just seems to fall short. Maybe part of it is that I’m no longer eight years old (though when I was, the original series was the centerpiece of many an after-school social gathering). Heck, even Penny’s pet is a high-tech shadow of her former self. And when you’re a high-tech shadow of a chimp with a big-ears wig stuck to its head ... See if desperate

Review – Dark City

Way too much MTV in some director’s past. This film appears to combine the worst qualities of Phillip K. Dick, Clive Barker and Rene Magritte. Some of the cinematography is sort of interesting (if more than a little reminiscent of the aesthetics of those overblown comic books known as graphic novels), but the plot, such that it is, is nearly impossible to follow, to the point that one tends to lose interest in even trying to tell what’s going on. This one might catch on with the goth crowd, but everyone else can probably miss it. See if desperate

Review – Live and Let Die

Quite possibly the most offensively racist movie this side of Mandingo, though I suppose that when your source novel actually contains racial slurs, such repugnance comes naturally. I just want to cry every time I see Yaphet Kotto delivering the Hollywood Shuffle-style dialogue. On the (very small) plus side, this is Roger Moore’s first tour of duty as 007, and though he’s generally considered inferior to Connery, the latter actor was just simply too old after Diamonds Are Forever to keep up with the athletic, playboy part (which he proved beyond a doubt in Never Say Never Again). And of course the title tune by Paul McCartney is a legend in its own right. See if desperate

Review – A Life Less Ordinary

Just what the world’s been waiting for: a quirky date movie. This film aspires to be some sort of blend of pick-your-standard-poor-boy-meets-rich-girl and Natural Born Killers as two hapless angels strive to hook a tycoon’s daughter up with the terminated employee who kidnaps her. You know when Cameron Diaz’s Ann-Margaret impression is the high point that you’re in for a long ride to nowhere. See if desperate

Review – Crime Story

Low production values. No plot to speak of. Awe-inspiring stunt work. Athletic, acrobatic flying fists of kung fu death. In other words, yet another typical Jackie Chan movie. This one finds Jackie fighting bad guys who kidnap a Hong Kong businessman. Worth seeing