Review – Krampus Origins

This movie starts out stupid (WW1 battle taking place nearly a month after the war ended for no apparent reason) and goes downhill from there. Though I admit I’ve lost some of my once-formidable tolerance for amateur hour crap, I can still stomach bad production values if I’m at least given some semblance of a script. But the most unpardonable sin committed here is to slap the name “Krampus” on some shadowy, long-winded demon of the apocalypse that doesn’t even put in an actual appearance until the movie’s mostly over. The only thing this thing has in common with the popular Yuletide baddie is the presence of horns, and even those are part of its helmet rather than natural features. Mess with the horns, get the bull. Wish I’d skipped it

Review – The Man Who Invented Christmas

I’ve long thought of Charles Dickens as the Stephen King of the 19th century, especially when he spun ghost stories such as A Christmas Carol. Thus as often as I’ve sat through the latter author’s considerable supply of protagonists with writer’s block, experiencing that as a primary plot factor here wasn’t exactly welcome. Despite being considerably oversold by its own title, this is an amusing little fictionalization of the creation of Dickens’s holiday classic. But with this budget and cast – particularly Christopher Plummer as Scrooge in the author’s imagination – a better movie might have been made. Mildly amusing

Review – Batman: The Doom that Came to Gotham

As a longtime fan of “Yog Sothery,” I’ve come to accept the niche nature of the subgenre. So I found it strange when a series of Batman comics deconstructed familiar characters and settings with a Lovecraftian twist. And now it’s stranger still to see Warner make an animation out of it. The story gets off to a reasonably good start but then meanders considerably before concluding. In particular there seemed to be a lot of sudden realization that fan favorite villains hadn’t been worked in yet, resulting in a lot of go-nowhere subplots. Mildly amusing

Review – Love Has Won

This is what happens when McDonalds managers take ecstasy. It’s weird to see the philosophies, mannerisms and facial expressions of the Manson Family, People’s Temple and their ilk reflected in a cult that doesn’t kill anyone other than its own founder. Over the course of three episodes of this HBO docuseries, Amy Carlson (a.k.a. Mother God) assembles a collection of people approximately as broken as she is. The group’s live streaming and home remedies business supply its leader with enough colloidal silver to turn her skin blue and enough alcohol for her to drink herself to death. Needless to say, the final episode is hard to watch. Mildly amusing

Review – The Flash

Apparently stung by criticism that the DCEU was too dark, the folks who make these things have churned out another light comedy about a witless young guy with superpowers. As we’ve all come to expect from any franchise entry involving a multiverse, this is a lot of expensive effects and stunt casting without a lot of anything else. See if desperate

Review – The Nun 2

At this point I’m actually kind of impressed by the sincerity of the Conjuring universe’s belief that audiences will remember and care about the plot and character details from previous entries. Wrong on both counts in my case. Thus I had to content myself to let the intricacies of demonic possession wash over me while praying that none of it would be on a test later. See if desperate

Review – Evil Dead Rise

This seems to have been designed primarily to unseat Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive as the bloodiest movie ever made. The fact that Jackson’s entry was also released as Braindead should tell you most of what you need to know about its competitor. I guess it had an eerie moment or two, but for the most part it was a witless gorefest unworthy of the Evil Dead franchise. See if desperate